Velvet Underground

Hey!!! ‘Mad Max’ is crazy abuse. Be nice to the mad. We/they have social media, too.

Hey! I’m a Victorian living in Queensland, and at least I know how to spell her name. It’s ‘Hitlor’. And besides, it turns out that, um, at least, “bumfucks” know how to cook a chip.

“Don’t bush it. I give you wound you wouldn’t beleeve.” I believe that was a knife commercial. (Stallone’s pronunciation, not mine, but interpret, if you want). Jokes aside (Hmmm, hilarious), it is a damn fine, post-Vietnam work by an auteur, back when films could piss off the Government ... So, why did Rambo start…

‘Rocky IV’. What we need is a montage. About steroids. And snow.

Canadian, Ted Kotcheff, obviously knows his landscapes - The reason I point out that he’s Canadian, is that he captured the Australian outback better than George Miller, in the brilliant ’Wake In Fright’ - as claustrophobic as the ocean in ‘Jaws’, or space, in ‘Alien’ -  and look at the first shot in ‘First Blood’ -…

‘Claiming to be bisexual or fascist’ is what it takes to inspire biopics. Where’s the Roger Waters biopi ... God, that’d be boring.

I get that they were trying to be subliminal, but here’s a Levi’s ad I imagined from 1981:

Unless you want more Marvel films, this might actually be good for cinema. To paraphrase James Cameron on The Terminator extras, “We had no money. So we had to be creative.”

Now, Trans folks are not disabled, but they are a minority. In Australia:

And Prince Humperdinck had six fingers on one hand. EVIL, I tells ya!

Who would’ve known? Pacino just won’t act with chairs.

I want him to recut everything: ‘The Godfather’, ‘my hair’, ‘me some slack’, all of it. Help me.

I stopped believing that cut when The Fonz turned up. I get that it was creatively brave, but still, for me, it was just ... you know, disjointed.

Man, check out Darth Vader 2020. Things are dark ...

There was also that deleted scene, where Dustin Hoffman wandered in from the set of ‘The Graduate’, looking for some kid called “Regan”. It was on the extras disc of ‘Mission Impossible: IV, Or Something’. Great film, by the way. The stunts Benjamin pulls ...

Is it possible Coppola’s trying to establish ‘The Godfather Universe’? Lucy Mancini got a lot more play in the book. Just sayin’, but ‘Cookin’ With Luca Brasi’ surely has great fish/vest recipes ... Oh, and the comics ...

I thought ‘Redux’ was an improvement, but I also dig French cuisine and Playboy bunnies ...

Let’s call it ‘Scorsese Syndrome’: If everything you make isn’t utterly brilliant, your audience has been utterly gutted for having invested such sacred faith in you. If I was Scorsese, I’d make a Rob Schneider skateboard movie ... But, somehow, it’d work, dammit.

... It happened so fast, I didn’t get the gnocchi recipe the first time, so now ... Hang on, I gotta do that?