I am going to find ways to work that bizarre metaphor into every conversation I can. Also I swear that half the phrases in the press release could be added to Cards Against Humanity pretty much perfectly.

Not putting miles on your Ferrari is like not having sex with your Girl Friend so she’ll be more desirable to her next Boy Friend.

‘Jamokes’

My husband cannot throw the ball and fetch the ball.

You’re right. The Chinese knockoff of the Mad Tyte JDM Yo would be more likely. I think those are the Angry Tite CDM, OK? brand. They look just like the Mad Tyte JDM Yo brand, but they have much more melamine in them.

This!

I’m not sure how much room it has to ascend in value, to be honest, they have already risen quite a bit. Even though the badges say Porsche, the ownership experience can’t be likened to owning a 911, it’s probably closer to other small European sporty cars from VW, Alfa Romeo or Fiat. In that company, $29,000 is…

Realizing how far behind he was on the scorecards by this point, Tyson bit one of the wheels off.

I don’t know whether this applies to the more plebian Festiva variants, but you are absolutely right on the SHOgun Festiva.

At what point does the man stop considering all the world as his personal restaurant tabletop?

A picture of the proposed fire pit:

He’s elite for sure - going undefeated with a loss? Not sure how that isn’t elite-level.

It’d be amazing to see the “Flacco vs Newton: Who is elite?” takes.

It’s pretty obvious he was pissed about a team with one loss being called undefeated. No one understands that meme at all, so I can see why he got so angry.

Say what you want to about Jafar, but that man is a leader.

MORE LIKE CLINTON POORTIS

Your answer is informative, helpful, and non-judgmental. I hate it and I hate you, too.

Day says the good news is that Ellie is fine. But she can no longer enjoys listening to Dave Matthews Band.

I’m sure you are.

He’s more like a stormtrooper, missing all those shots.