They could tell you, but they’d have to kill you.

Look at that, G-Wagen, Chrome wrapped S-Class?, G-Wagen...  No way that’s not some mafia shit going down. 

the AWD fad

This is one of those things I agree with and have no idea why. 

Cool. The rest of us will drive a fucking canoe if someone puts a suitable powertrain in it.

I’ve no interest in vehicles that the mere act of starting is a crapshoot.

Probably the same amount of wind and road noise too.  /s

that ugly squatting-dog “coupe” monstrosity.

It gets some people like that. Hey there, Jalopnik. 

I nearly died from an asthma attack and a dead six-month old Pinto. Yep, good times.

We see you over there by the straw men. 

If an evil mastermind is holding your girlfriend hostage in his frozen lair, that’s precisely what you’ll need.

Fucking laughable. Why not just call it fake news? You know, like when you still lose a heavily gerrymandered district. Seems to work with your low-brow constituents just fine. Why the need for new strategery, George?

Not allowed in my house either.

If I got an Alexa for Christmas, it would have already been used for target practice with what I did get. 

No. That is worse than the shit I drew in 7th grade. (um, yeah, if I had pics, rest assured they were destroyed).

268 kW = 360 hp

If you simply couldn’t find one, you can recreate most things: Repair the broken one, cosmetically, with glue, body filler, etc. and finish it with primer, fake texture, etc., whatever it takes to appear like it should. Make a silicone mold of it. Pour a new piece with two part resin then paint it to match. They…

“ we expect it will just drive like a BMW. Ho hum.”

50/50, as God intended.