I once saw a video recap of import alliance and thought, “I bet it would hilarious if someone took the music from this and put it behind a recap of Pebble Beach.”

I thought you had this already? It’s called Tavarish or something. Have I been buying all of these old luxury cars by mistake?!

I factor it like this:

I wouldn’t worry about the floors too much on an old Porsche; replacements are cheap because they ALL need it. However, a complete rebuild on that engine will run close to $20k. And while I can’t tell from the description or photos, it appears to have been repainted in TFR: That F#$%ing Red, a specific shade of…

With an Abarth badge. Patiently waiting...

I think this is a real contender for a universally loved vehicle. Even the most radical environmentalist can’t resist its hippie charms! The only reason not to love it is if you have no soul whatsoever, and therefore are not human and don’t count against its universal appeal to humankind.

This makes me sad because it appears to be a first-gen Mazda MPV. This generation was actually RWD and could be had with a manual transmission. I know this because one time my father angrily took the family van and peeled out down the road never to return. I remember seeing the back wheels spinning and thinking,…

This is what I’ve never understood. A replica of a contemporary supercar that’s accurate enough to not be completely laughable always costs so much that you’re just a hop, skip, and a jump away from just buying the real thing. Why?

My brake lights are out.

Mine’s a 9000 Aero with the Recaros, so while I’m not 100% sure it is, so far, wearing like real leather. And on a black car with a black interior, it’s burning like it too!

My secret is driving a turbocharged Saab that probably could win a street race, but something about black leather and walnut is like having your father sitting in the passenger seat. The shame of hooning would be too much to take.

I learned this first-hand on my rear-engine Fiat.

This guy deserves a gold medal for situation-handling.

I think I’ve got this. I’ve done some difficult things (rear brakes on an E-Type with no lift, Giubos on my Alfa, water pump on an A/C-equipped Mercedes 220D just to name some off the top of my head. But one experience stands out as the worst.

This is the most brilliant use of fake-engine-sound technology ever and it needs to be reality right now.

I’ve been on the other end of #3 a few times. I have a generous towing plan (since I own old Italian cars...) so I always try to avoid doing the quick fix in front of the seller.

I would like a EuroSnobOmeter that measures how superior I am to cars in the next lane over.

Damn it, am I going to have to be that guy who points that the photo of the ad is a 2Ga while the car being reviewed is a 1Gb?

Seriously. A lot of SWB parts are breathtakingly expensive, but this is really not much more than you would pay for a new dash on a lot of classic cars. And you WILL get at least $1000 of increased value to the car out of it.

Hear me out.