It's always funny to me when celebrities buy the hard-edged racing version of a supercar just because it's the most expensive. I imagine him enduring bump after spine-shattering bump, pulling up to his house with two pounds of dead insects splattered over his face, thinking, "I don't get it."

Enjoy this swanky crash while it lasts, little BMW. In 30 years Trina will be your poping tires on speed bumps and smashing your front end into mediocre suburban homes that don't even have a moisture barrier between the siding and plywood. Just remember you used to be somebody!

I think it's important to point something out here: there are "millennials" who are into cars. Like it or not, that loser with the primered, fartcanned civic or the questionable-quality lift kit on his truck is into cars. He just doesn't have very good taste or very much money. When the big auto companies talk about…

Alright, anyone for a Kickstarter Jalopnik music video that destroys a bunch of vintage guitars and tube amps?