Send random, meaningless responses like, “Have we thought about X?” in big email chains. No one will actually pay attention to what you wrote, but everyone will see that you had something to say and think you’re invested.

I’M NOT SENDING YOU MY CAT.

Well definitely check it out if you’re traveling and need to see a movie.  Alamo is an awesome experience, and I’m sure they’ll invade Florida eventually.

But the fourth one will stand up!

I’m 5'10".  Is that short enough?  If so, wanna pay for my dinner?

There are a billion and one recipes for turkey, and they still all end up with turkey that tastes like turkey.

I have never found it necessary to modify an Oreo. Oreos, on the other hand, have most certainly modified me.

Today I learned not to fuck with anyone in New Orleans, Detroit, or Baltimore because those fuckers finish the job. On the flip side, you St. Louis shooters need to get to a range for some target practice. That or St. Louis doctors do some miracle work, I guess.

After Brokedown Palace - I have no desire to go anywhere NEAR Thailand.

I’m supposed to take advice from someone that has an almost full bottle of Glenfidditch and an empty bottle of Jack Daniels Honey?

I’m supposed to take advice from someone that has an almost full bottle of Glenfidditch and an empty bottle of Jack…

uhhh

Gotta disagree, being an adult is better than being a teenager. I’ll let the Oatmeal explain.