PLACED A BOTTLE OPENER ON PENIS THINKING IT WOULD FEEL GOOD BEEN THERE FOR A WEEK AND NOW IT IS NECROTIC

I love Chobani. Haters to the left.

The plastic ones are garbage. You need a metal one.

I actually have the Williams-Sonoma cookie gun! My mom gave it to me a few years ago. It *only* works with buttery, sticky doughs that you can’t roll out, like spritz cookies.

Cookie crapper is more like it.

A good cookie shooter is a fucking treasure. Mainly because it’s so hard to find one.

Still the best thing on Deadspin, year after year.

I was going to tut at the endless, soulless milking dry of successful franchises, and then I realised that we might get a Haymitch prequel and I want that.

And owners of pointlessly large pickups.

It’s also a great way to check who remembers how to use pi.

Get fully erect and then put this piece of plastic or paper measuring thing around your D. That’s happening.

Why just white devils? #alldevilsmatter

Me too. You wouldn’t guess it from the content of the rhetoric that’s getting so much attention lately.
Thankful that this actually garnered protest. Now if the same could just happen with Trump’s comments about registering Muslims... (He’s trying to walk it back now but there’s video of him saying it, so...)

he needs to resign. This is embarrassing. The Left is better than this.

“I was thinking of the families of the innocent victims of the terrorist attacks in Paris”

And Syrian refugees aren’t also victims of terrorism? I guess it’s easier to think of the Paris attack victims since they aren’t knocking down America’s door attempting to get to safety. I wonder how open and welcoming the US…

I, too, like to keep the shitty things I say private.

Or the Lebanese killed in Beirut? And the Turks in Ankara? And the Iraqis in our drone strikes? And the Afghans under our bombs?

I’m so glad you said this. My eyebrows literally jumped a metre high. No, America. It’s actually not about you, for two seconds.

The entire world is looking to the White House.

Ugh,I know everyone says that about straight dudes but that has never been my experience,with the exception of Mr. Stabler. I’ve always been the really blunt one and the dude I’m with is talking in doublespeak, playing stupid mind games, generally being the confusing one. I dunno, maybe I’m just terrible at picking…