I am of the opinion that nothing is more impressive than a well-placed semicolon; I always try to slip one into an email to a potential employer.

I use empty Spam cans to hold my pencils and brushes. I should paint them Tiffany blue.

You’ve never worked in show biz, right? Cuz that shit happens every damn day.

I thought she was great in An Officer and a Gentleman, then I read that she totally hated Richard Gere and they did not get along on set, and I admired her acting even more.

She was prettier before she started mucking around with her face. I think the squint is due to a bad eye job, exacerbated by botox and fillers.

I gave up driving a stick after living in Seattle and dealing with hills...I developed bursitis in my right shoulder. Now I don’t even have a car and life is so much less stressful.

Toback is up to 300+.

You are ungreyed...how can I get ungreyed? I promise to be nice, but sarcastic

If you actually say you are looking for casual sex or an FWB, you get the creepiest guys around. Cuz, you know, you must be some kinda freak, a woman who wants sex without a commitment.

I’m in my 60s and the men my age are all looking for their “soulmate” (gag) or someone to travel with them. They don’t ask where you want to travel, they just want someone to tag along on their trips. I, on the other hand, would like an FWB I can have dinner and sex with on a regular basis. Or a rich husband, of…

It’s about her wearing the pants to a “fat suit” when she went home to visit her dad, and wore them the whole time. Hilarious.

Cristobal Balenciaga (the founder) must be turning over in his grave. His designs were the essence of elegance and style.

My mother preferred to eat by herself, with a book. She lived to be 95.

By myself, at home, I can’t be bothered to cook more than one thing. In a restaurant, with someone else, I want to eat all the things!

“Hey gorgeous/beautiful/sexy” is worse because it’s such an obvious line.

I’m over 60, and even at I my young and skinny best I was never “beautiful” – cute at best. So any Tinder (yes, we olds use Tinder) message that starts with “hello beautiful” gets no reply. One okay-seeming guy started calling me “my dear” after the first couple of messages; I asked him not to, but the very next…

There is a scene in “Water for Chocolate” with a hole in the bedsheet (elaborately embroidered, IIRC), but that was Catholic.

A friend went to an American style restaurant in China and ordered a banana split. It came looking exactly like the picture on the menu, except the “cherries” turned out to be cherry tomatoes. She said it was actually pretty good.

I could never sleep in a parking garage. Too creepy.

That’s against the basic rules of “lady safety.” I get the hell out of parking garages as quickly as I can.