One place I was at, the security guard put his lunch in the microwave for 5 minutes. The bell went off for someone at the door (it was around the corner) so he went to check them in. Someone came in, saw the microwave running “unattended” and pulled the food out even after we told the it was the guards and he would…

Hey Twitter, that wasn’t so hard.

I cannot bring myself to do online dating. Just as I refuse to do Facebook and its ilk, because of privacy, data mining, and tracking issues (among others), I do not want to give faceless corporations all this private information about me, then have them track me. That’s before even getting to issues such as you…

Brilliant writing. The headline mentions a lawsuit, the article is kind of about that, but then changes abruptly to her being mistaken for other directors, which is in no way related to the lawsuit. Then, to top it off, mistaken identity is apparently racist now, even when everything said is complimentary. Honest…

You can cook the bones until they basically crumble. Then spread in the garden or toss in the compost. If you have ducks or chickens the bone crumbles make a nice source of calcium, just toss in the yard for them to find.

Also, we have 27 people coming this year. We NEED them to fill up on some pre-dinner food so that we don’t run out of dinner food. 

“...too political and inappropriate.”

I saw that Date in Mexico sketch before when it was called This Season of 90 Day Fiance. 

And the Kirstie Alley story is from the 80s, when she first quit drugs. She spent all her drug money on flowers, which in my poor person opinion is the stupidest thing because usually one of the reasons people can quit expensive habits is seeing how much money they save. And unless she was getting a hell of a good…

I lost my wedding ring a few years back trying on clothes in the Bargain Basement area of Next Adventure (one of the great outdoor clothing/gear stores: https://nextadventure.net/) while on a trip to Portland. I called a couple times to see if anyone had turned it in, but gave up checking after a few months.

You can get decals on Etsy

I would assume so. The meat of the acorn is much softer than a roasted coffee bean.

How did you react when the chunk escaped?? And did you get the job?

No, never cut back on the butter! Remember the 70's were a time of excess and one is truly wanting to savor the Thanksgiving moments, keep the butter and sugar.

Cast Octavia Spencer properly, you cowards.

Jeans have a body type and cut requirement that’s not very accessible for everyone. Adding lycra to them has helped, but there’s still a large part of humanity that won’t look as good as a small part of humanity.

ummm... from the link in the article:

When I got laid off part of the (very generous) severance was job counseling with a very respected firm that does this.

I have a vast storehouse of stock phrases from Real Housewives of New York that I use on my husband. I’m a contractor/freelancer who survives on the goodwill of clients, and am haunted by the fear of accidentally emailing, “Hello, my sweet!” (that’s what Luann said constantly during the first season; she seems to have…