It’s the mugshot of a man who just ate a pound of weed to avoid a felony charge. 

+1 shifty-eyed dog

Well if they’re not unionized, then they definitely can’t call strikes.

If the NFL doesn’t know what a catch is, how could they ever understand a catch-22?

The Manny Machado Sweepstakes, not to be confused with the Adam Jones Scratch and Win or the Chris Davis 3rd Prize in a Church Raffle. 

Has a rising star ever fallen this hard, this fast?

My favorite Hawk catchphrase is when he’s silent for 5 straight minutes after the Sox get screwed out of a win or blow a save, or when he’s running out of the booth to go check on Todd Frazier

*Scans list of best catch phrases*

It’s a story as old as time: resorting to a life of crime to provide your old lady with the life of luxury she craves.

Project Contact is a terrible name for a Kermit Washington fake charity. It’s right up there with Face the Future.

+1 hooooch-ptooey

This is obviously an aside, but I remember when Sheik and Volkoff were a team and 13-year-old me always had a problem after Volkoff sang the Soviet national anthem and Sheik grabbed to mic to yell, “Iran, number one! Russia, number one!”

Should have stuck to the rivers and the lakes that they used to

(there are seven fucks and three shits)

None of them do.

“Barstool Radio, a show enjoyed exclusively by Deloitte interns who wish they were still in college”

If I learned anything about Oregon as a kid, it’s that it’s not over until someone dies of dysentery.

That’s why you do things the Max Power way, which is the wrong way, but more loudly. 

What the fuck would a Met know about playing anything the right way?