Ahem. If you want clicks, a better headline would be “Tom Hanks Allegedly Propositioned A Young Fan.”

I honestly thought he’d have quit, been impeached or dropped dead by this point. I guess I was too naively optimistic.

Hahaha! What wonderfully ironic, twee and useless bit of frivolity while everything has gone to shit!! It certainly doesn’t make me hope that the attendees choke on the fumes of their own smugness!!

well, if you have the time/inclination to scroll on down, you’ll see me grudgingly admit that I’m over 40, guess I’ll be waiting for the Coalition of Middle Aged Racist Gentlemen to come claim me.

I’m over 40! It’s true! You’re NEXT! (If you’re a God fearing man, of course)

To be fair it isn’t so much a “blood ritual”. I pretty much just had to pick my index finger and draw a bloody X on a dotted line at the bottom of a scroll that was too long to bother reading.

what does being 40+ years old have to do with being racist?

I believe we call them “Freedom Shepherds” around here.

Knees: you can’t explain that.

I am kind of surprised that Green Acres has not been rebooted in some way. I suppose the portrayal of the local yokels might be a little bit controversial but the premise of rich people forced out of their element could still work.

No, you’re a freak for many, many reasons. That’s just the icing on the cake.

You didn’t let me guess.

There is no way these Rick and Morty nerds appreciate porn on the same level as I do.

Ironically Rick and Morty fans would beat it less to this than more new Rick and Morty episodes.

Has anyone seen Daisy Ridley and Keira Knightly in the same room at the same time? At the very least they’re secretly sisters.

May Daisy Ridley’s teeth finally end the whole UK has poor dental health jokes forever.

“Take what you want from our boutiques and salons, until you get back on your feet.”
“Thank god I live in Hollywood where people treat you right!”

I spent exactly three minutes of my life trying to star this comment, but I kept getting bounced out to other Rick and Morty-related articles because this dumb website doesn’t load correctly anymore.

I gotta believe there’s a guy in a windowless room at Marvel with a bunch of thumbtacks, string, a stack of Blu-rays and access to streaming platforms going like OK, so this episode of Agent Carter happened on a Tuesday...

Trump then reminded every body about when he won the truth telling contest at the carnival two towns over.