“The main reason Santan is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” - George Carlin

I know, right? Call us back when disease and famine wipes out a few thousand of you and maybe we can get Sarah McLachlan to do a commercial, or fundraiser, or something. Maybe Puerto Rico can move their island or tell the next hurricane to change direction so Trump is not put out or anything next time.

Come on Puerto Rico, did you ever think about how a hurricane devastating every aspect of your daily life would mildly inconvenience all of us on the mainland.

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” - George Carlin

Thanks a lot for suggesting Trixie went bounty hunting with Maze. I was completely happy with this episode until now. You totally “Detective Douched” my night. Good day Madam.

Right after 9/11, the Red Cross took in way more blood than they needed, but that is the only instance that I recall. When I gave a few weeks ago, the Red Cross said they were going through a critical shortage period. I got the customary card in the mail last week saying when and where the double red blood donation…

I’m going to avoid the politics while there are still people bleeding, but everyone please donate blood to help the victims if you can. I did a double red donation three weeks ago, so I am out of the game, but go to your local Red Cross if you are able.

Do not gaze at it too long, for its magnificence will blind you. Or possibly convert you to Scientology.

For me it was Al Gore on the “Stick of Truth.” I tried to unfriend him immediately which just got me killed several times. If you level up, he is easy. But if you go in at a low level, that Gore-gasm is a killer.

How does “NCIS: Babies” work? Is it Navy toddlers running around with guns and arresting people or grownups with baby legs à la Detective Baby Legs on “Rick and Morty?”

The NFL is sure in trouble. A non-competitive unwatchable blowout on Sunday Night Football could “only” manage 14.5 million viewers and a 5.3 rating. I’m sure the Monday night Cowboys’ game will go unwatched. You’re sure showing those rabble rousers at the NFL what for President Trump. By the way, doesn’t an LA…

In all fairness, I hear that every Republican private e-mail server routes through the Hell terminal which is pretty secure. Dick Cheney runs a tight ship down there.

This relationship is already hot and heavy. I hear it might even go nuclear.

You get one semi-erotic kiss from Doctor Who, now you go around kissing everyone.

Well, Spicey wandered in with his own podium to do the White House Press Briefing that he normally does in front on mannequins in his basement. I mean, the guy was last seen crying and mumbling “fake news” with snot rolling down his chin and a pint of Cherry Garcia so I think they just felt sorry for him.

I think the movie is really about punctuation and the use of the exclamation point in our modern world. But, does this movie truly earn the exclamation point? That fundamental question haunts my dreams and ever waking moments.

This was a little too Spicey for my tastes.

Let’s survive Trump first and then worry about undoing the damage.

I thought ESPN’s problems were from a changing marketplace, cord cutting (losing 20+ million subscribers), onerous NBA and NFL contracts with diminished advertising revenues from lower ratings, the internet replacing the flagship SportsCenter, and one of the highest fees to cable subscribers. But I am totally wrong,…

I agree that many sides are at fault. The Alt-Right, the White Nationalists, the White Supremacists, and whatever the hell kind of right-wing douchebag President Trump is. It’s 2017, and apparently we are supposed to be cool with fascism. Good message Mr. President.