You.   You're the one I like.  

Did she pick up the tab for everything, or did you each pick up various tabs?

Passive-aggressive revenge?

What you should do is start talking to your other friends about how cheap she is behind her back. Really build up some animosity. Then if you ever go out together again, ask for split checks, but only 2 of them. One for the table and one for her. And if you’re in line for coffee tell Claire and Alice to go ahead and…

*Iron Chef Chairman mode*

If memory serves me correctly, Venmo has an option where you can announce your payments on social media. Definitely do that, and make sure you mention the reason.

“Poppy just sent Thrifty Misty $3.87 for her share of a round of pumpkin spice lattes from Know-Nothing Nancy’s Cavorty Forty…

You could send her an invoice with everything that you paid for itemized then add a line item subtracting from your total whatever she is attempting to charge you. Make sure that it comes out even or that you come out ahead. 

Donohue's statement could very well be the funniest goddamned thing I've ever read.

Night Trap’s origin is actually much earlier even than that... Night Trap was made in 1987 for a VHS based game player called Control-Vison that failed before it came to release and was only later resurrected by Tom Zito and Digital Pictures when the Sega CD came to market.

Michael was indeed under Constance’s care at the end of MH.

Can anyone remind me what Michael’s situation was at the end of Murder House? Wasn’t he being raised by the ghosts and Jessica Lange’s character or something? How did he get to being raised by Cathy Bates? Hopefully we find out.

Ryan, your writing and topic selection is such a credit to Gizmodo. I’d homepage a spinoff science Kinja. Nothing to add, just really enjoyed this article. 

I mean, it’s a false memory. Why does it have to be accurate?

The third act is the best part!

Okay, this is weird, I had to ask, because I couldn’t find it written down anywhere. Cause I could see that most of the customers were tipping on the app, but at the end of the day I had no extra money, except for this one guy who tipped cash.

COUNTERPOINT: Twitter sucks balls. Let ‘em have it.

As a tall woman who used to be skinny, is now fat and is working her way back to good physical shape, let me just say: I’ll take the harassment I got for being tall any day. Oh wait! That didn’t really happen. The most that ever happened was someone would see me and say, “Wow, you’re tall.” The attention you get for…

Cheated. Sabotaged his sobriety. Emotionally abused him. Cost him work. Mocked Michael Jackson. Gave him a marriage ultimatum. Led him on about getting married. Joined a competing satirical Velvet Underground tribute bound and sniped all the potential Pizza Underground mitzvah and wedding jobs. Greeted him only by…

I also thought it was about that film. I even searched for my favorite tweet from the Michael Haneke parody account:

I got a Dan in Real Life notification for this?

Yes.  All of the M. Night movies do take place in the same universe.  It is called “Philadelphia”, and it is terrifying.