I actually thought the episode looked quite striking. A lot of pulled back shots of the sets reminded me of expressionism, and it even looked like they were applying filters to make things look vaguely like a silent film. In contrast, I thought the first episode looked rather cheap.

I should probably watch the first…

My favorite recurring Conan bit was his Celebrity Secrets series. We had Shatner Secrets, Hanks Secrets, Takei Secrets, Ford Secrets, John Tesh Secrets, Willie Nelson Secrets, Slash Secrets, and more. Most of the bits were really good. I believe Takei even dumps on Shatner in his.

And the best Walker Texas Ranger bit…

Probably not. I’m a professional editor, and copyediting and proofreading are always the first to go when belts need to be tightened.

Playing multiple roles when all of Sarah’s previous characters look like Sarah is going to be tough. I’m guessing her Coven character gets a fat suit and her Murder House character will be either CG or covered in makeup and facial prosthetics.

Joan Collins was a highlight in a dull hour.

I feel this was the least compelling (I can’t judge AHS on a good-bad scale—the scale has to be about how likely I am to anticipate the next episode) AHS opener. It also felt like the weakest from a production standpoint. It looked cheaper and like they didn’t care as much about framing striking shots as in previous…

I was going to make a joke that this plot point is just a rip off from another specific movie, but then I revealed that I’d be spoiling that.

For real. When that report about molestin’ priests in Pennsylvania came out the other week, I immediately wanted a report about all the punishments nuns came up with. They were far more creative than priests so it would be a great lurid read.

If there’s no crysturbation (or god help us, a new equivalent) I’m going to crysturbate.

I’d still rather listen to Korn, Kid Rock, or Limp Bizkit than the Eagles. I’d probably rather not be conscious if those were the choices, though.

Or at least the first season (series? whatever). It gets stale beyond that.

It’s the Parliament/Funkadelic collective. They’re the only band that could get my non-dancing white ass to boogie.

I have a married pair of friends that always start cleaning when they’re loaded and the party starts winding down. It doesn’t matter if it’s at a house they’ve never been to before or one they know like the back of their hands, once the party starts slowing down, they clean. Not just throwing out garbage and taking…

Casting him in a zombie movie is a good way to save money on makeup.

But are there any hunks without shirts? I can come back for that.

Call me weird, but I’m not sure these shows would work as well with modern production values. Part of the charm of these was the cheesy, low rent look, and you can’t really have that and HD at the same time.

I got a Dan in Real Life notification for this?

I thought everything after his death was pretty exploitative, but the sexuality stuff, which he would clearly not have been comfortable with being broadcast, was absolutely beyond the pale. That was exponentially grosser to me than anything that occurred on that Richard Simmons podcast that caused a scandal last year.

I know. I was just hoping that this would be an anthology series of his short stories or something. I swear it was originally sold/marketed as an anthology (heck, this article even lists it so in the info box). Thatdidn’t set expectations for a Lost/Westworld-style series influenced by Stephen King stories, but not…

Small-town puzzle-box drama? I thought this was an anthology series? I guess it still can be. How standalone are the individual episodes? I’m getting a little tired of everything being serialized.