I had a D&E for a miscarriage. Seriously, when I see WOMEN smiling and supporting this shit it just makes me want to simultaneously cry and punch a wall.

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Oh gosh I don't know how many times I've had to tell people that 10% plus an additional 10% is not 20% off.

One time when I was outside of a Cheesecake Factory smoking a cigarette a man propositioned me thinking I was a hooker.

I had a table once whisper loudly to their children, "if you don't go to college, you'll end up waiting tables like her..." while I was prebussing their table.

"One oval-shaped suit, please."

Can we have a round of applause for all of the awesome managers this week? There is nothing more satisfying than a manager that has your back when a customer is being an asshole.

I've given up tying my shoes. If my husband isn't around, I wait until I get to work and one of my coworkers do it.

OMG, no! Feel lucky!!! My second pregnancy was miserable the first half, but after that I felt great or nothing. My first was a series of moderately annoying symptoms one after the other with no reprieve.

I'm happy to see that $10,000 has been raised for Howard.

"You know, LIKE ON AN AIRPLANE."

That mom was totally a waiter once. Good on them though.

Okay, I've been dying to share this story, but as it's not food/dining related, I can't submit it to the column. But I figure some people around here will get a kick out of it anyway.

How do people not know the joys of Milk-Steak?

I worked for Borders too! Once I had this 20+ minute goose chase looking for whale books. Slooowly I pieced together that they were looking for books about a whale named "Diana". Yeah . Yeah. Ok. Ok then.

I'm so glad the baby punting story ended with the parents apologizing.

I have the feeling that there are enough Iron Shiek stories out there to do a BCO just on him. He's like the definition of performance art.

SHEIK TAKE DOWN JABRONI SALAD BAR AND GIVE CHICKEN RESTAURANT A CAMEL CLUTCH.

When my son was little we used timeout because he loathed having to sit down and do nothing. One minute per year of age in a chair facing a wall. I rarely had to send him to timeout. As he got older, things changed. We've always been big on giving him an allowance as soon as he was old enough to understand helping…

Put a picture of a random kid on a shelf. When yours is old enough they'll inquire about it. Then say, "You had a brother once.......once."