shih tzu / maltese rescue here. (shihtese? maltzu?)

My ex's roommates had a shih-poo, she was one of the sweetest, funniest beings I've ever known <3 <3

"I don't know why she has something against me."

I liked the anchor comment about his pregnant wife at home.

let's not forget the real MVP of the night, tho

I think Grey should be spelled Gray….hey, its America after all

they look awful but apparently are better for your hair

She was originally going to go with Summer Eve, but decided that would be too douchey...

Dear Azealia Banks,

My tipping practices are what alerted my GF to my poor skills at arithmetic and worse skills at ballparking.

like legit tho

Several years ago in San Antonio, my then GF and I were visiting from Boston and we took my sister and her roommate out to a family-style Italian restaurant. They seated us in an overflow room so the college-aged server had to cover two rooms. All told, the members of our party changed one entree, a wine order, and…

Ha! I work in post production (not for this movie!) so I'm instinctively defensive of them.

Nooo! That level of idiocy is most likely especially virulent. Don't contaminate yourself!

I am pretty sure they "are only using 10% of their brain"....

I mean this sincerely: there is no way to say the phrases "I will argue against the servers" and "think these servers need to suck it up," without being an AWFUL human being.

Yeah I am with you. I will judge him solely on the dumbass horrible shit he did after he was 30 or so.

"Recovering Floridian"....I love it!! A slightly less embarrassing way to say where I came from lol...

I'm not significantly different from when I was 16. Still nerdy. Still into fantasy. Still playing videogames. Didn't bully anyone and made friends with anyone I could. OH and weird. I'm still really weird.

Agreed, but the problem is these same people want to lock up other (non-rich/non-white) 15 and 16 year-olds for doing the exact same shit they believe they were entitled to participate in consequence-free. If they didn't all have massive boners for the drug war and prison industrial complex and hand-wringing about the…