Oprah sounds really awesome, though, so that’s good.

“And we want to treat this with the seriousness it deserves, so we’re going to put you on GMA. Your segment would be between Rachel Ray and the winner of the Westminster Dog Show.”

Damn. Forced her to do the interview because they didn’t believe her?

goddamn.

I love how mom (is that their mom?) turns to hug Eli but then realizes it’s Eli and then half asses a high five.

I think Eli agrees with Drew.

Can I hang this is my racist supervisor’s office?

Well, we already know he’s drinking piss.

Glitches in his programming. Future upgrades will make it even harder for him to fail the Turing test.

Manziel ate dinner, gambled, and partied wearing a blonde wig, mustache, glasses, and hoodie, going by the name “Billy.”

“Uh, yeah, my name is...Billy. Uh, Billy......Football.”

on the whole no but ill be damned if i dont bump “too many erkels on ya team that’s why ya wins low” any day

This is a bad opinion and you are a bad person.

That’s the stupidest thing anyone’s ever said on a website where most people come just to complain about the lack of dick picks.

I’ve argued that, actually, Kanye’s a better lyricist than Kendrick Lamar.

If Cleveland is going to cut everyone who didn’t show up then next year’s roster is going to be Joe Thomas, Gary Barnidge and 51 people plucked from the stands.

#latergram

Can I ask, why would instagram allow that feature?

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?