Imagine if this dude:

I showed my girlfriend this episode, she cried after.

Jesus, I'm glad you got away from him.

Yeah, the husband of one of the women who was most worried about him cheating, ended up cheating with the wife of another firefighter. Quite of few of them were ignorant and racist and cheaters.

Can you stand over my should whenever I write from now on? Good. I’ll supply coffee and chocolate. Forever. Thanks.

My wife had that issue when she was a police officer.

We could smell gas in my driveway last night, so we called National Grid.

Given the phenomenal rates of divorce in the profession already, I'd say co-ed departments are the least of the problems firefighter spouses/partners need to be concerned about.

Well, it’s a start.

They look like they could be related.

These are all significantly less creepy Santas than Trump.

Have you ever noticed Donald Trump’s mouth?

There’s not much that makes me shudder, but this did. All I can think of is, “there are women who have had that mouth on them.”

One of my favorite creepypastas is one entitled “Wake Up.” It goes like this:

There’s not much better than Anansi’s Goatman Story. Fuck, this story gets me every time.

A coworker (a young woman) took another coworker (older man) to Twin Peaks because she did not know it was like a classy titty bar and they were both too awkward to leave.

She’s SOOOOO CUTE!!!! Mine are still super cute but at close to six months they’re practically full on cats already (and they have broken two family heirlooms in two days so I’m a little pissed at them). But then they slept on me in a pile this morning. And when I watch TV at night. Can’t stay mad.

Luke: Finn, cover me!