Thanks for doing everything you can to prevent people from ever being offended.

He couldn’t hold Trout’s jock on his best day in Tom Ley’s best dream.

You’re a below-average writer, and your logic is screwy.

Close your restaurant. End of story.

Pay attention in school and you won’t have to deliver food for a living.

Jeebus, man. Google something. Wins Above Replacement.

Spoken from experience, right?

Thank you.

...because he’s trying to figure out how this chick has two kids if being gay isn’t a choice?

She did the SJWs proud, but simultaneously closed the book on Carson’s campaign.

Your ability to grasp the concept of atheism and make a determination about the possible existence of a supreme being at the age of 6 is hugely impressive.