With story after horrifying story I am now just finding this hilarious in its absurdity. Anyone with me?

I’d like some examples of figuratively unconstitutional items.

You could pretend to be on a really long ski vacation in Switzerland, but eventually they’d catch on and kick you out for not knowing enough about cheese.

Well, to be fair, Trump pretty much campaigned on making China angry.

I just bet that China is publicly furious over this, but secretly delighted that the US is going to completely dissolve under this imbecile’s incompetence and arrogance. I bet Putin is happy, I bet North Korea is happy, I bet our allies are terrified.

I think this is the universe telling me it is time to try meth.

Hello Kinja this is a formal request to change the stars to pentagrams on this site. Thank you for your consideration.

This is from the “Jill Stein challenges an election even though nothing will change for her but it might actually benefit others” playbook, and I am HERE FOR IT. Hope there’s more like this.

“thinking without a box,” 14

I can’t tell if this is real or fake. That says something, but I’m not sure what, exactly. Lemme go ask a cab driver real quick.

Not just racist white women! See also: racist white men.

With the heat of a thousand suns.

When asked whether or not she’s racist or what, she responded “I’ve never used racial slurs to address people.

Best take away: “I don’t see color.”

Oh, look, poor, little put-upon Aryan Barbie. The racists! Won’t anyone think of the racists?!

Seriously, fuck her

I hate this woman. There, I said it.

Thank you for reminding me that he is dead and that he died doing the thing he loved most: clutching his pearls.

I loved him in Jamiroquai.