In the spirit of Carvana’s insulting offer for my car, I will offer to buy the company for $10,000. The offer comes with a free bonus of spamming their inbox constantly asking if they want to sell for basically nothing.

Before someone moans about how dumb and pointless this article is, I just want to say that THIS is the kind of article I come to Jalopnik for.

Exactly. It also makes it much more international. The F150 and larger are kind of like Kei cars; they make sense in one country and are like clown cars elsewhere. The Ranger however is more international. Which makes the EV investment more useful.

Something like the Ioniq 5, but smaller and less weird details.

World’s wealthiest man owns Twitter
Second wealthiest man owns NYT and WP
Third wealthiest man owns Facebook

The only thing not working for Disney is that DeSantis threw a fucking tantrum because they mildly criticized him, so the champion of sMaLl GoVeRnMeNt is retaliating against them.

Steakhouses are overrated because steak is super easy to prepare if you don’t suck. But this isn’t the case for all fancy restaurants. Frankly, some recipes require annoying amounts of attention or time.

In the US, if you let your kid out of your sight, someone will call the cops. My daughter is petite. Her height appears to have maxed out at 5 foot 3 inches (1.6 meters). So she looks a younger than her age. She will often sit in the car while we go into a store. Twice the cops showed up because someone called. Once,…

Hot take... Herr’s Crab Chips are superior to UTZ.  Herr’s embraces the necessary vinegar flavor.

I agree about Herr’s! Got hooked on Herr’s Roasted Sweet Corn popcorn when it showed up in my northern California Walgreens for three months or so last summer. Now I pay about $35 every couple months to have box of 30 “snack” size bags shipped to me from the east coast. It is kind of a splurge but I don’t trust myself…

I’ll counter that Franks or Crystals is crap for general consumption compared to Tapatio or Cholula, unless you’re just looking for color tinted acidity. 

Route 11 Dill Pickle chips are the answer! Probably my favorite chip period. If you visit their factory in Virginia you can buy them by the trash bag.

“There are studies that show the men who engage with hot sauce do so primarily for the recognition and praise of being able to ‘handle their heat,’”

Lay’s Flamin’ Hot Dill Pickle potato chips are excellent and have a lot of pickle flavor, but it sounds like you might be looking for something that no potato chip can provide. Adding dill won’t get you more of a pickle flavor, only a sweet herbaceousness; seems like what you want is an essence of the process, that int…

Zapp’s Cajun Dill Gator Taters are the chip you’re looking for, my friend.

It’s not brilliant at all and never was. It’s the idiotic gotcha that doesn’t really work. There are free or very cheap apps and programs that can adjust the audio enough to dodge the AI if needed. This is one of those stupid meme things that probably got shared in a bunch of secret cop facebook groups without an…

It was odd seeing the ghost of Doug Demuro dredged up from 2016 to drive a few extra clicks.

Why has the website gone downhill so much since the strike? I feel like the quality of the articles isn’t what it used to be... How long until automakers stop loaning you guys press cars?

You don’t actually have to defend every dumb thing on here, especially when it’s obviously being forced on the staff by the shitty upper management. 

Though I was going to see a little hidden line at the end of the article saying is was originally posted in 2018, since they’re padding things out lately with that shit. And don’t get me started on the click though shit.