I blame the confusion on the baby carrot industrial complex.  They’ve been lying to us so long about baby carrots that we naturally assume every baby vegetable is also a lie.  

This is some next-level Karen shit.  

There is also more than one ‘American Barbecue’ flavor. But, most people understand that if you generically say BBQ flavor whatever, it’s going to be a kind of tomato-base with a little sweet, a little heat, and a linger of smoke.  That doesn't negate the existence of other types of American BBQ, like the mustard…

Yes, that’s right. From a legal perspective that’s exactly how trademarks work and are supposed to work. Taco Johns had this trademark for a long time and suddenly people want to use it, tough. Although, I think the argument that it has become generic is probably pretty decent. Fighting genericization of a…

So you know you’re not a lawyer, yet you try to make some wrong-headed constitutional argument anyway? Why do people do this?

Never look under the seat of an airplane needs to be added to never look under the mattress in a motel on the list of things you don’t want to know.

It does seem odd to me that they would want to play up the association with real foie gras to market to vegans.  This is just a vegan pate and that’s okay.  Why does it have to be marketed as a fake version of foie gras?

My neighbor, who recently bought a Tesla, was excitedly telling my wife how everything you need to know is shown on the little screen on the dashboard, so you don’t even need to look out the windshield.

Well done!  

We’re doing politics wrong. Anyone who actually wants to be a politician, should probably be banned from being a politician. They’re all a bunch of egomaniacal shitheads.

I don’t want softball-size strawberries.  I want strawberries that taste like strawberry.  Flavor is being sacrificed for durability and it’s ruining produce.

How much would your civil rights cost?

I’m sorry, did you think this website was about journalism instead of a means to pump our eyeballs full of advertising? I mean, the ads below, above, and next to this article are using 10 times the space and bandwidth of the entire page.

Good call.  One of my favorite things about Buc-ee’s is the jerky bar.  A Jack Links popup would be awesome!

Yeah, I’m sure all those super rich people are suddenly going to stop trying to be super rich because they might get an expensive speeding ticket.  

I swear I remember a Grimace shake in the 80s. Turns out it was Uncle O’Grimacey promoting the Shamrock Shake.

So speaks Title 17 and Title 35 of the United States Code.

In a purely legal sense, the fact that the copyright has been denied to other applicants to due to the commonplace and genericized nature of the phrase should have been the sole determining factor in current decisions. Can’t unfuck the pig.

Across the river in Maryland, it’s Teslas.  Also white.  There are like 5 in my neighborhood alone.  

Didn’t they already try this: