Breeders

I don’t even fucking understand this country anymore. 

If you could vape crack, would you do it?  Surely it’s not as self-harming as smoking crack.  So, why not?

Or a quickie with your mistress.

I’d rather have a sausage patty in there instead of the chicken.  

So it’s FX but not on FX?  Only on Hulu?  Oh well, fuck it then.

Nah, number one is Urban Bamboo Chromaflair. Of course, it will set you back nearly $100,000. But, come on, look at it

This would be an easy choice for me - Porsche Macan

This one’s easy, you recently posted an article about it - Pagani Huayra.

Welcome to Jalopnik. All our (talented) writers left because our owner is a shit. So here’s a slideshow of car paint colors because we aren’t qualified to write about anything else. 

Oh, I get it. A brief kiss between two adult cartoon women threatens your own sense of self so much you have to denigrate the entire movie because of it.  Life must be hard for you.

Komatsu.  They could make an EV Hummer competitor that wouldn’t be much smaller than their rock trucks and the bros would eat it up.  It would literally be a bro-dozer.

Nope, you get to control the window shade when you book a window seat.  Otherwise, tough kittens.

These rules all come down to basically the same thing - Don’t be an asshole to other people.  That’s a basic rule of life that should be followed all the time. 

What’s Amonz?

I bounced in Arizona 25 years ago. We had liquor certification, but nothing as involved as described here. The easy ones are people who vomit, fall down, or start fights. They’re out at that point and probably should have been cut off before they got there. As for the rest, in general, I’d look for people who were…

The same way meatloaf is disqualified from being a steak.

Not to mention that Amber Heard couldn’t even be bothered to defame him.  Poor guy.  

Or, overhead bins are locked upon landing and people without carryon baggage are allowed to deplane first.  Then the overhead bins are unlocked and everyone else can deplane.   

I’ve been to a few