Citroen Cactus

That seems like a shitty way to determine “best” donut cities.  Surprise, there a bunch of Dunkin Donuts in New England.  Doesn’t make it the best.

Rare lobster collectors rejoice!  

Yo mama so wide, she needs escort cars when she walks down the street. 

Funny.  Though I suspect her actual name is Karen.

I knew DeMuro was going a bit starchy, but this is ridiculous.

Forza Motorsport and Forza Horizon are pretty much the reason I bought my Xbox One in the first place. I think I started with FM5 and FH2. The newest iterations are also why I keep upgrading to the newest console.

That caramelized upside down banana cake is so good that it’s been declared illegal in my house.

Anything vomited from a can and put into a serving dish.

I am predicting I will be hit with a mysterious 24 hour flu on November 5th that will require me to call in sick and sit on the couch all day to get better.

Yeah, it’s like the APR on my credit cards. I have no idea what it is or if it’s good or bad because I never carry a balance. I care only about the cash back and other rewards.

Thank you.

If you don’t wash the dishes, chances of celibacy increase exponentially.  

Flats, drums, and heads.  No heads, add $2.

I saw one of those on the road a few months ago. My first thought was “That guy must really like toys.”  

Simple, because maybe, someday, possibly, Tesla could might be almost as successful as Google. So, it’s clearly worth just as much already. It’s all about the potential.  Duh.

First, discover negative energy. Next, create reverse microwave.

Deer suck. My yard backs to parkland and we have herds of deer that pass through our neighborhood daily. Come October every year I know it’s rutting season and they are even more annoying than usual. I’ve already had to come to a complete stop three times in the middle of the road to honk at the deer to scare them…

Money back guarantee that you’ll never hit a shark while driving your car.  Unless you drive through a sharknado.