•  Spell while getting hit by a bus.

What if they had to spell everything by placing 1x1-foot tiles with letters on them onto a board, and the tiles are 50 feet away from the board and they have to run back and forth placing the letters?

He also refers to several young black men by their given names instead of using the derogatory epithets you are used to. I don’t think this is the article for you.

LOL who gives a fuck

The cheapest seats available for tonight’s game are $18. You can get Marlins tickets tonight for $10, and you can get White Sox tickets for $7. That’s not all that bad, but I don’t know why the Rays don’t sell some tickets for something like $5 (or even $1) just to get people in the door. It would make the stadium…

Different sport but this is very close to the reason the Rockies have a damn dinosaur as their mascot (a dinosaur egg was found at Coors Field’s construction site).

There should be some sort of 3 way name swamp in which the Toronto Raptors send their name to Utah, who become the Utah Raptors (a real dinosaur!), the Jazz name goes back to New Orleans where it belongs, and the entire New Orleans Pelicans franchise is blasted into the center of the sun.

I guess then Toronto gets the…

Like Knights, but ’90ser 

An entire story about bad ‘90s stuff and not ONE mention of the freakin’ Mighty Ducks?!?!

But when it reached the part of the speech where Reagan addressed “the enemies of freedom,” the following images were shown: A protester in a beanie with an anti-fascist slogan

I bet he fucking planned it, too. Killed ‘em with Mallex aforethought.

Player Chooses Christ, Church Over College

To be fair, this wouldn’t have been a problem in the NCAA, either.

What treatment do you recommend the doctor administer to the dead woman?

I mean...

Fixed it. Now all I have to do is kill you and then no one will learn of my error. (In case you are wondering- yes, I am tenting my fingers)

Personally, I think it’s extremely good and not horrifically scary that our country is run by a grotesque cabal of sundowning racist grandpas.

Taco Pope always sounded to me like less of a name, and more of an honorific.

I’m just glad Storm Duck lost, because Truman Peyote got jobbed harder than anyone else in the first round.