My cat is a princess and I need no help loving her excessively.

If we go down I think it's only fair to take the whole universe with us.

Personally, I find number 12 to be the way in which we can save the Solar System.

I don't mind my SO masturbating, but if he wakes me up with his masturbating, I will probably murder him.

1) TOTALLY stealing this now, and storing it away for when I'm not single.

If we have the energy to go at it we'll probably just have sex.

Being able to go from serious banging to hysterical laughter and back is my favorite part of "real grown up in a healthy relationship" intimacy!

a flurry of twat mist

There are people who think masturbation in a relationship constitutes cheating. Most of us refer to those people as "complete fucking lunatics."

You just broke the comment euphemism density record.

That's kind of a shit response. It'd be one thing if she wasn't living with him, but she is. The fact that they're living together by definition means there's a minimum of privacy to start with, and that the response was to expect him not to feel comfortable enough to service himself in his own bed. Yes it's her bed,…

I think that's the best possible response!

Typically I just yell "Last one to finish does the dishes" and make it a race.

I'd argue that the train doesn't need to be moving to fire the nuke......

Don't act like Americans wouldn't do the exact same thing. Hell, we'd probably shoot each other over the money.

Here's an idea — grab as many bills as possible. The next day, go to the police station and return about 10% of them, after sending the rest out of town to be laundered. Then, you're automatically off the hook with the police, if anybody recognizes you on the video. And the bank is insured either way.

It kind of is!

Hope its a chick in lt. Blue ..If it's a dude then hopefully he gets a raise for being such a great parking attendant..

Why are so many people rushing to judgment here. Maybe he got a venomous snake bite on his asshole and this good samaritan is simply trying to draw out the poison. This should be viewed as a sign that there is still goodness left in Detroit. People here are still willing to help each other out. Shame on you all.

One can be thankful this occurred early before a day of drinking and eating chili cheese nachos