should one have to reinsert their boobs every 12 steps?

in the history of jezebel there has never been a tournament where i haven’t been disappointed in the winner. caffeine winning best drug?

Switch out We Belong Together for Fantasy.  What are you thinking? 

Probably a combination of being told the world was going to shit but don’t worry, we’d grow up to fix it (and it was all on us, good luck kids!) because if we worked hard, we could do anything, and then realizing that being saddled with student loan debt and graduating in a recession (as I did, anyway) while being…

Grandma when she finds out the truth:

Nobody talks about Jezebel and The Root more than weirdo AV Club commenters; like, Jezebel has sucked since Dodai Stewart left (edit: nearly a decade ago) and despite being a practicing black person, I regularly forget The Root even exists.

How can we forget about the OG Doctor Dre?

Oh god it’s going to be so weird seeing people in marked down Yeezy gear with MAGA hats on...

I wonder how all these white people manage to get turned on by each other so bad to fuck with all these affairs and flings. They’re all about as sexually exciting as a box of instant grits.

During the riots in Los Angeles in 1992, the most common thing looted from stores was not TVs and stereo equipment.

She saw the receipts and they said Marshalls not Tiffany.

I’ve been trained to shoot and I wouldn’t aim a BB gun at a dude holding a cinderblock wearing full bomb diffusing gear. I feel terrible for this family, I feel disgusted that people do this stuff to clicks and likes. I’m just not sure what to make of this.

I honestly hope she doesn’t go to jail for this, for the sake of her children. Yes, this was ridiculously stupid, but she was hounded into it by her now-deceased boyfriend, and there was no indication she would have done something like this otherwise. And after this has happened, I don’t think she poses a risk to…

Iggy Azalea: absolutely not. She had a complete disregard for black culture. Fucking moron. I watched her career dissolve and it fascinated me.

Not to be too earnest, but the lack of relationship probably isn’t the choice of the child who missed out on having a dad. Inheritance in general is a weird concept when you unpack it, but a father is equally culpable for bringing legitimate and illegitimate children into the world.

Because she might be an heir and if Dali didn’t want this, perhaps he should’ve not have been  be screwing around on his wife.

This is the perfect summation - i used to think that Pete Holmes and TJ Miller were the same person on Doug Loves Movies because they were always imitating each other and neither was famous enough (pre-Silicon Valley) that I knew who they were.

My son was in NICU for a week after he was born, and they wanted him on high calorie formula from a bottle and wouldn’t let me breastfeed him (said it took too much energy and he’d be worn out.) I pumped but could barely get half an ounce at a time. As soon as I got him out of there I started trying to breast feed,…