You ask people to let you watch them consume Cheez-Its? 

All I can imagine is Jennifer Coolidge inflicting trauma:

Banging Finch on the pool table during his graduation party, and interrupting lord knows how many other of her encounters, wouldn’t potentially lead to relationship issues (like an open mouth kiss with his mom)?

I truly believe Stifler could be a killer, ever since that prostate milking in “Road Trip” he hasn’t been the same.

And sometimes they don’t. See, for example, Katherine Heigl.

Bloodline itself never wonders if Evan is a bad person, and the movie feels stifled by that lack of self-awareness.

I have signed on fully to your Stiflerverse idea.

You get it.

Road Trip: Stifler goes to college

True—I understand actors sometimes play different characters in different movies.

Wouldn’t a 70s porn stereotype be in favor of racial mixing and thus more progressive than Steve King?

I actually like to imagine every character Seann William Scott plays to be a different alternate universe Stifler. So Goon gave us a Stifler who played hockey during the lacrosse off-season and took a puck to the forehead that caused mild brain damage but made him a nicer person. This movie, however, shows us a…

“a ‘70s porn stereotype speaks glowingly of statutory rape and incest”

People like cheese and salt, not that hard to figure out.

If someone enjoys something that you don’t, they don’t owe you an explanation as to why they enjoy it. Let people enjoy things without your approval. It’ll be okay.

Never watched Seinfeld, but I can take a stab at Cheeze-Its.

They hit a near perfect fusion of thickness and crunchiness that makes biting into them more satisfying than a regular potato chip, they’re filling in a way that chips aren’t, and as their flavor settles it kinda goes through about three different flavors…

THIS is the correct take.

So if I’m reading this correctly, this needs to be deep-fried?

Cheez-Its are like Seinfeld: I will never understand why anyone likes them, and when I ask someone to try to explain it, or watch them while they consume it, they can’t seem to say why, either.

So what you’re saying is they need to deep fry it