I've had two separate ladies tell me they thought this was a remake of Troop Beverly Hills.

I begrudgingly stayed with some Nu52 when The Joker chopped off his own face, but then all but abandoned DC when they doubled-down with lopping off Alfred's hand. (I only stayed with the amazing Batman '66 and Scooby-Doo Team-Up! books.)

Kid, you got The Goods.

Naw. Keep the anecdotes comin'.

Whaddaya mean?

Um, uh, upvoted for the sheer might of your liver…?

Mine hid hers in the glove box.

My dad lacked Mel's courage and forthrightness, as he'd just mutter slurs under his breath, or bark them at the TV from the safety of his recliner.

Lone Star: The National Beer Of Texas is my "all day" beer of choice.

You ever heard Patton Oswalt's routine about "when kids figure out adults are full of shit", which focuses on car phones? Goes on about how you were supposed to hide it under your seat or in the glove box or whatever when driving through ethnic neighborhoods.

King Cobra is what I pour over the grave every time a pet dies.

Lowenbrau ads always had that air of sophistication that worked on my impressionable little brain.

Almond beats them all. That's just science.

After years of rigorous field testing, I can conclude that Raisinets are consumed only by the sexiest, smartest, funniest members of society.

All I want to know is:

But I love you. I'm like Jesus that way.

Oh, that. My only explanation is incompetence.

I'm glad you're here to set us all straight.

776 comments in, so forgive me if this has been addressed:

Dude, I will drink a beer in sympathy. Horrible, horrible story.