That'd be Demetri Martin.

Will do!

Suburban Chicago Guy here who works downtown. I now always wear earbuds and sunglasses so I don't have to talk to anyone. I was under the impression this was totally socially acceptable for everyone. Without them, I've even had guys just out of jail follow and talk to me for blocks, looking for money. I'm a big,…

Yeah. Clear sign you should block that number later.

And of course, you know, this is fantastic.

I first noticed him in Wanted. Pretty good work as the worst best friend a guy could have.

Well, then hopefully she used a timer and not a monkey. And then sues the site into oblivion.

What if she just used the camera timer function thingy? Who owns the copyright then?

I think it's still o.k. to hate Bon Jovi, though.

Should I point out that he had only one return for negative yardage? I feel like you may take it personally, so I will probably keep that to myself.

Please explain more about averages to me so I can understand WYTS.

I know, right? The guy only averaged 14.2 yards per punt return last year. Clearly had no idea what he was doing.

Sounds good, as long as short people can stop thinking they have the right to stand in front of me at a concert.

At least he appears to be annoyed with the person taking the creeper shot. So he's got that going for him, which is nice.

I must admit, I was talking about the specific writer of the letter who thought it was cute at first.

Eh, I wasn't pretending anything. People talking about their pets is one of life's easiest things to get over, however. With or without sleep.

I am all in on the big pet "parent" good faith conspiracy theory.

Yeah, but you probably realize later that it's not a big deal. This person actually took the time to write a letter to an advice column.

Yeah, this guy is cool, recording girls on the treadmill and whatnot. He showed those gym rats!