I get this vision of legions of Joffrey-esque brats playing Call of Duty all using God Mode. Gods help us all.

Hey now, what's wrong with Errol Flynn? Beats the dour Disney Pirates movies.

"The Last of Us will make you feel sick to your stomach!"

Punch-virgin here. A friend of mine told me sucker punches lack honor. Should I punch him or what?

Hello, terrifying naked sausage people. Welcome to my nightmares for the next few days.

Persona (3 in this case) is part of the Shin Megami Tensei series of games, where you get no achievements, no hand-holding, and no multiplayer. It's a series of RPGs created to strip you of your ego and make your Mass Effect achievements look like Subway Club stamps.

I demand compensation for this frivolous article. I'll even settle for a 30 day pass admitting me to XBONE network without needing my butthole scanned every day.

Watch out. We got a libertarian here. Tell em how Fast and Furious 6 is the number one movie in the country bruh. The people have spoken.

Bioshock is a pointed - nay, scathing - satire of those objectivist ideas. Not saying that the game may have inspired a handful of people to slog through Atlas Shrugged (or the Cliff's notes version) and send them on a libertarian quest against reality, but that is an awfully depressing notion. If I heard of people…

With Xbox ONE I can stream live tv while pooping.

Like. Agreed. Shared. Printed it out and handing it to random people on the street corner.

Ha. Technically my first SMT game was Persona 1. Yeah in the bulky PS1 box. Bought it used. Played it for maybe two hours. And then sold it again. Yeah I was young. Nocturne re-introduced me to the series, and I even bought P2: EP with an inflated price to play it. Loved it too. By far the coolest story of the…

And that's exactly it. My appreciation for the SMT series increases all the time nowadays when it seems like other games give you achievements for putting your socks on all by yourself. There's an RPG fandom rite of passage to being at a very high level, and then a random enemy with a phys-reflect attribute casts rage…

Nocturne is still my favorite game of all time after that ordeal. There's a much more difficult hidden boss on Digital Devil Saga 1 (I'm currently on 2 with all the hidden items unlocked from 1, but without replaying 1 to reach the hidden boss, the protagonist from Nocturne). Watching the youtube videos of the fight…

I'm not lamenting how difficult it was, and actually wound up doing well, getting the best ending and all. It was just the experience of finding an RPG that catered to a completely different crowd. Nocturne was very much streamlined compared to the SMTs on Famicom, where players had the option of finding the…

Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne was the first game to really make me question my abilities. Welcome to the club.

"It's only $5.99 though!"

No, you should get a PC because getting an X1 makes you angrier and combative whenever someone says they've enjoyed a Zelda game.

I have the same sort of incredulous befuddlement now as when I talk to my catholic friends about how when you get an annulment, that lets you say your marriage never really existed because if you were otherwise to get a divorce, that'd be a mortal sin for which you could be excommunicated. Just cut the BS and get a…