I can’t actually think of anything truer to the spirit of contemporary American conservativism than a guy who grew a beard in order to promote his hunting accessory business praying at a NASCAR rally for a Republican to win the election, using a phrasing and diction better suited for a slow six year old child.

That’s a fair point, yeah, but none of us has to go very far to find some pundit somewhere waxing way-too-philosophical about how special it is that baseball is back on that one day. That first day means something to a lot of people (it's why stadiums are filled that day, then half empty the next). Strategically…

I think its even worse than that. Without media attention, and television broadcast, and other means of generating an audience, the game dies. His salary and the survival of the game is tied into generating excitement for his team. Get on board, sourpants!

Wait, 99% of takes on Opening Day are “Opening Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Chip Hale is the exception here and he’s probably just frustrated by the fact that Zack Greinke, who had an ERA of 1.66 last year, currently has an ERA of 15.75.

“Oh, you’re pregnant again? Great. I bet you make a big deal out of it, like you did the last time. Probably going to have one of those showers or whatever. Your sisters did a great job of hyping that up.”

I am too old to fully understand what the terms “woke” or “bae” are, but I understand this whole post is leading up to telling us once again how awesome a creature Josh Charles is, so I won’t complain about kids these days. If you’re a kid and you recognize the beauty that is Dan Rydell, then I have no quarrel with…