Sam Woolley totally knows what I know... being 13 years old and short puts you right at boob-level with every girl in junior high.

Cucumbers cock block the salad from getting dressing... That's wonderful.

Just bandwagon the fuck out of the next team that catches your eye. For me it was the Royals about 3 years ago - I picked the Expos as a kid because I liked their logo and there was no Denver team at the time (where I was born).

One option for picking a football team is to develop a hate for several teams. This strategy will usually give you a team to cheer for in most games. Another approach is to go political. When in doubt, I’ll root against the team from a red state. I love to root against the Cowboys or Texans because I like the idea of…

“That devious son of a bitch. Obviously, everyone in the class should pick the two points so that they can all share in a common reward. But that leaves room for a few sneaky fuckers to get away with choosing six points if only a few of them do it. So, knowing what kind of person I was back in my 20s, I probably would…

They started singing “Drew Has Got A Boner” to the tune of “Janie’s Got A Gun,” and kept it up for the rest of the year.

You both deserve stars-therefore I give them to neither. Brah.

The Rams fan in VA should just keep rooting for the Rams. What’s the difference between rooting for a team halfway across the country versus all the way across the country? You don’t get the games on tv (unless you have Sunday Ticket), you don’t have friends nearby who are fans of the same team, and you have to take a…

Only assholes call California “Cali”. Are you 2Pac? No? Then stop saying it.

This: “This is a shame because many modern dog owners are permissive jackasses who own asshole dogs (“He never bites! He loves kids!”) that deserve the choke chain.”

Steelers already have one of the biggest obnoxious bandwagon asshole fanbases in the league, they don't need any more help. Any Steeler fan you meet elsewhere in the country will be a loud asshole carrying around a Terrible Towel despite never having step foot in the city of Pittsburgh.

Can’t wait for them to fail spectacularly in LA and leave the taxpayers of Cali holding the bag.

No flag pin.

I applaud the gentlemen on the lift in the stock photo for not taking sides in this matter.

He said he was initially shaken by the incident and in a bit of shock, but since he wasn’t injured, he decided not to let it ruin his powder day.

Every advancement in snow skiing over the last 2 decades is because of snowboards. Twin tips? Parabolics? Non-fucktard clothing? Ahhhahaha just kidding, no I’m not.

I wonder if her friends didn’t realize she had left until later? The last time I got in a fight with a friend at a party, I thought he just went to talk to someone else but it turned out he tried walking home and passed out in the alley (and fortunately was not run over by a neighbor.) We live in Texas, though.

There is this weird American attitude that I have yet to encounter somewhere else that if you are from a traditionally cold place, the cold shouldn’t bother you, and like Marshall and Robin in HIMYM, you should be able to wear shorts and eat ice cream in the middle of a blizzard. I remember pulling on my big down coat…

Right. It’s the friends that are to blame, not the idiot wearing shorts and a tank top in January in Wisconsin while binge drinking.