I want him. I will give him leaves, branches and cuddles.

Megyn Kelly says it’s ok to fat shame. So have at it folks....

Drew Brees is going to defraud all of us when he eventually runs for political office. He’s Ted Cruz in a Saints uniform.

I was dating a girl that cheated on me with a guy who’s wife was 8 months pregnant. I found out she was trying to move in with the guy and kick the pregnant wife to the curb. Let the wife know as soon as I knew

They need that helicopter to trickle wealth down to the workers. Helicopters can go high and do more trickling. That’s just basic science

Frozen chicken fingers suck. But fresh battered fried chicken fingers are the food of gods. Friday’s switched from battered fingers to frozen fingers, once I found out I have never been back.

We should pool all of our money together and build the islands a trump golf course. They’ll get all the help they need after that.

Follow my logic: Taco Bell is food for stoners. Stoners are easily paranoid. The Illuminati is not real. Not real things can make stoners, paranoid.

The network was dead to me after they cancelled Talking Smack. That was the best show they produced, the promos were incredible, and it gave an opportunity to give characters depth. I tried re-watching the shows from when I was a kid, and it’s hard to sift through the bad and good. Nostalgia wears thin after watching…

If you work for a living, Sherrod Brown is your man. He’s one of the half dozen or so senators that are decent at their job. The first election I could vote for, was his first running for senate. My vote for him is among the proudest votes I have ever cast.

How old is Tucker Carlson? I remember him on crossfire, and now I see him here and he’s barely aged. He looks like a college freshman conservative who complains about recycling bins and Asians on campus.

He’s like, really smart. Starting petty battles is a telltale sign of a stable genius,

I agree, next thing you know, someone is going to tell us that tax cuts don’t actually create any jobs, and just serve as a handout to the rich.

I love watching hicks play pretend army!

So........

Drain that swamp!

Talking dog money? the future sucks

If we are Idiocracy now, then why did I get kicked out of Starbucks?

My university required all 1st and 2nd year students to purchase a meal plan that some worked out to be about $25 a meal.

This guy is in for a rude awakening when he tells James Harrison to rub raw water on his sore back.