YIKES. And the way the video cuts to a “Bud Light Cooldown” logo every few seconds... YIKES.

This nonsense can officially fuck off. I don’t know what’s happening here, but it ain’t good news.

The Onion did this better.

Well, that was quick...

Oh, no! How can we KILL CHAOS! when we can’t even load up the KILL CHAOS! to KILL CHAOS! I’m here to do two things: KILL CHAOS! and KILL CHAOS! And I’m all out of KILL CHAOS!

I know this is also releasing for PS4, but I wonder how many games will get stealth-delayed so more PS5s can get released into the wild.

The “math is harder than people think” line boils my blood. It comes off as so condescending. I understood the math of Apex Legends just find the moment it became clear that it would be using a crappy monetization model to make money. Quickest uninstall I’ve ever done.

Weird. Anyway, as an aside, I always thought L.A. Noire would have been a better game if it eliminated the musical cues that let you know when you “failed” a dialogue option, and just let you make your choices and watch the story results.

A couple of titles come to mind from the PS1 era. First, Silent Bomber. What a strange, wonderful game. I feel like no one played it and no one remembers it, but I’d love to see a sequel, or at least a spiritual sequel.

Nier is such a strange game, and yes, such a slow burn. Hopefully this re-do doesn’t gate the best content behind collecting every single weapon, but the payoff is worth it.

I feel like the only reason to buy GameStop stock now is if it drops back down to low double digits, and you think the Reddit meme kids might try to pump it again a few weeks down the road because they get excited about a new executive hired there or something. But that’s an iffy venture at best.

Do you kids like the Avengers? Do you like Spider-Man? How about the games-as-service model? You don’t like that? Well, tough, because that’s how you get to play as the Aveng-- hey wait, where are you going?

I played a decent amount of Overwatch when it first came out, but I wasn’t much good at it. Once I started seeing how insidious loot boxes were, throughout the industry, I soured on it — and I couldn’t get past how Blizzard fans were willing to give them a pass for popularizing one of the most predatory developments…

Maybe the severed ears signify how Blizzard Activision is deaf to the cries of China’s human rights victims.

So here’s the question — PS4 or Switch? I haven’t been hearing great things about the Switch version, especially load times, but I don’t know if they’ve ironed out the kinks.

Don’t threaten death, folks. It’s not a good look. If you’re going to kill a man, kill him. That last line was left in on purpose for my editor to remove. Wait, she’s going to let it remain? Oh no.

This week, on a very special episode of “Never Buy a Console at Launch,” our heroes learn, once again, to never buy a console at launch.

“Avoiding crunch on all of our future projects is one of our top priorities.”

Scott Pilgrim is gonna be one of those “buy it used so I don’t have to support Ubisoft” titles, I think.

snip