God, please stop worshiping celebrity children.

Erin:

Everyone knows the only thing to wear when eating your night cheese is a slanket full of your own farts.

Even my cat pities your meal this day.

Observe my l33+ craftiness, man. That would be a crab cheeseball decorated like a turkey, with veggies and fancy crackers. The actual meal didn't get photographed, but there was a roast turkey, cornbread stuffing with pecans, gravy, homemade cranberry sauce, green beans amandine, rolls and twice-baked sweet potatoes.…

With those leather pants, Kanye's crotch has to smell like a water buffalo All.The.Time.

Prince William's "No..no, really, I'm listening, I swear." face is priceless.

Taylor was hoping for the Ginger Prince, not Hair Club for Men Prince.

Drunken Prince Harry would have been more fun, I think. He could also have nailed that song, then hoisted Taylor's skirts in the cloakroom. A Grace Kelly fairytale for the 21st century.

Finally! I'll be able to get the sexy lips I've always wanted!

Oh god. You made me laugh so hard I puked. Fucking flu... Even better, I nailed the cat broadside. Peebles is not happy.

This should bring the curtains down on her career.

This woman's husband sounds like an asshole.

Between this and the rimjob article linked here today, I'm glad I'm too old and celibate for all this nonsense. I'm gonna go get me another cat and see what's on Netflix.

It's CUNTPUNTRENEUR!

Stop trying to make "Lululemon Culture" happen. You make pants.

I bet someone washed and fluffed those monster beards. A professional who questioned his or her life choices while doing so.

A black woman at the CMAs? Did her car break down outside?

I really wanted there to be a period thing on here today because I put a Midol in chocolate ice cream because I didn't have any water to wash it down. As I was sticking the pill in the ice cream, all I kept thinking was "good Lord I am a stereotype, I am eating chocolate ice cream with a menstrual pill in it"