Imagine Gordon saying “Come on get it together. I just saw your babies butthole”
I was in a restaurant yesterday, just wanted to relax and look at my email, had ordered and was chilling out at a table that I had chosen that was admittedly away from the rest of the crowd - and a woman walked to the back of the restaurant and decided to use the table smack next to me to change her kid’s diaper. No…
If I am eating at a restaurant and I see anyone’s butthole, I want an apology and a free dinner. Buttholes are a dealbreaker. And this is regardless of whether the butthole in question is a ten second butthole or a 15 minute butthole. Also, butthole is an intrinsically funny word, so kudos to Chelsea for using it…
I watched this this morning and also noticed after the snub the Polish First Lady remain standing directly in front of Trump blocking him from the camera’s while she chats with Melanina. It’s very subtle, but the fact she doesn’t immediately step back and get out of the way allowing the cameras a clear view of Trump…
How come women can’t go sleeveless when Paul Ryan is allowed to go spineless?
The cruelty in those pictures is astounding. Everyone just stood around watching Christie instead of trying to save him by rolling him back into the ocean.
Martha is still cuter than every single pug that has ever lived. #comeatmebro
This reminds my random mind of a story, where my husband had a ‘friendship’ with a goose who lived in the park-area around his workplace. He named her Gertrude (or Gurty, like the character in ET), and he really liked her. Then, one day, She was out there hanging out with Richard, and my husband was over the moon!…
Getting so tantalizingly close to printing MRI’s of a model who has swallowed a bathing suit. Now that’s something I can hide under a mattress!
How ‘bout a bill that requires classes teaching police how to interact with kids?
Funny story: in like 1999, one of the last years the giants were at candlestick, my dad took my brother and me to a game against the reds. I wanna say it was like July or august, but the game was meaningless and was 3/4 empty. We were sitting top deck first row. Now, my dad had been going to giants games his whole…
Sadly, it probably is their song. It’s just that one of them doesn’t realize it...yet.
Still better than being Eric.
Jimmy Fallon is terrified of animals because they can sense that he has no soul. Sort of like how dogs will bark at a Terminator.
He does sometimes.
Wait a second. If you’re throwing Walken in the mix, all bets are off. He is the Master Of The Chris Universe.
I used to have peacocks (not white ones), they’re a pain in the ass. Super loud early in the morning and breed like rabbits. If I’m going to have a fancy rich guy bird it’s going to be a cassowary.
She definitely got the better end of that deal. Her silver fox husband is *kisses fingers*
Really? The kid just won the National Spelling Bee! She knows all the words, and exactly how to use them…