Also, congratulations! I know you got a son.
I heard he looks like ya, why don't your lady write ya.
Told her she should visit that's when she got hyper
Flippin, talking about "he acts too rough"
"Doesn't listen, he be riffin when I'm telling him stuff"
I was like "yea". Shorty don't care, she's a snake too.
Fucking with…

I actually underestimated how easy the jokes are for this one. Not only does Perry have "Oops" on his resume, I forgot that he said that when he couldn't remember the existence of…. the Dept. of Energy.

"Too easy" - every comedian

Or a bad Adam Sandler and Friends paycheck movie (is that triple redundant?)

There's probably 4 Nanettes in the entire world and they're all librarians. Stephen, back me up on this. Where is he anyway.

This feels highly accurate. Look at all those stuffy predictive names for surgeons, interior designers, journalists, judges, and lawyers.
http://verdantlabs.com/prof…

"So we have to get very, very tough on cyber and cyber warfare. It is —
it is a huge problem. I have a son. He's 10 years old. He has computers.
He is so good with these computers, it's unbelievable. The security
aspect of cyber is very, very tough. And maybe it's hardly doable."

https://twitter.com/NateSil…
yaaaaaaaaaaaay

Donald Trump - it still hasn't settled in how this guy was always in the background, being a complete joke and shitstain, throughout the last two decades I've been in America, and now he's president.

Has anyone made a The Kids Are Alt-Right joke yet?

Tim Duncan got a back tattoo and it's not of the H&R Block logo. I'm disappointed.
http://news4sanantonio.com/…

Right??

By the way, Seth Meyers has been crushing it this year. His opening segment is pretty much the only late night TV I watch anymore.

Seth, can I use the n-word real quick?

SNOB!

Oh man, https://upload.wikimedia.or…

Not entirely serious about Hamilton but just check out the perfect features on the 10 dollar bill.

I need y'alls bi-pinions about my list!

How about just hottest men anywhere any time.

Hopefully libruls take Bear Down for Midterms to heart, like they did in 2010 and 2014 lollllll smh