Dear you guys,

I really hope they’re compatible. That’s such a great excuse to slut it up with your husband before he’s your husband: “I have to make sure we’re sexually congruent. We’re going to be fucking each other for the rest of our lives.” Take that, abstinence!

Sounds like the time I got lost in a public park! I was scared and it was in East L.A. so it’s practically the same.

Don’t forget to tell everyone incessantly that you’re 1) blonde, and 2) SKINNY.

What?

Your username is the best username ever.

No.

Yep. I stopped using the word “retarded” in high school when I began working with autistic kids for community service and saw the people I was referring to so callously. Same thing with “gay” and “ghetto.” I said these words negatively, but never really thought about the implications until a college counselor said (to…

IKR? I mean, the outfit isn’t great, but ultimately it’s a pink dress that covers her up and is inoffensive to the point of boring. “Shaken to the core” is more offensive than this dress.

She’s not pretty enough to be Georgette.

I think it might be kids in “suggestive” positions that adults could view as sexual but kids would just think is silly. Like someone with access to a kid said, “Hey, let me take a picture of you doing the splits,” or something similar so that the kid was never actually put in a compromising situation, but sickos could…

This is my favorite comment of all time. It’s so spot-on even though I’ve never even been to Ohio. I do know the type though, because I’ve been to Bakersfield, Ca.

“I’m sorry, I still don’t know how to say your name...Jay-mall? Jamm-all?”

What the shit are you talking about?

Nah, it’s a cyclist.

They really are insufferable. Cyclists here in CA bitched and moaned about being treated like cars so they wouldn’t have to share the sidewalks with actual people, and then after they got that law passed they proceeded to blow every traffic law they didn’t like. I’ve seen exactly ONE cyclist stop at a stop sign in my…

lol

LOL you’re not a lawyer

Why are you so determined to defend a woman who was actually charged with domestic abuse in a story about domestic abuse? That’s one more goddamn DA charge than Depp has! Oh, but Depp has no bruises of undetermined origin or vaguely worded texts, so he’s the undisputed bad guy here. Sounds legit.

I was just coming here to say this. When Depp’s exes say he could’ve never abused anyone, it’s inexcusable. When Heard’s ex says, Oh yeah she was charged with abuse but IT’S TOTES OVERBLOWN YOU GUYS, Jez is all: sounds legit!