You really can’t assault a police officer and then be like, “LOL I’m pregnant!”

I agree this could've been handled better. But this woman sounds like a nightmare who wanted special treatment and had it backfire on her. She demanded more time to board because she was feeling "weak" (but not weak enough to go on vacation or throw a shit fit when inconvenienced, apparently) and then the airline…

Yep. It’s fucking PIZZA.

It is a goddamn cartoon strip. Take the pseudo-superiority down a notch.

Stupid people think a differing opinion is trolling. Because their opinions are the only ones that are right.

"Troll" has nine times more likes than you (as of this moment). Must sting.

I understand your frustration, but your comparison is absinthe-drunk insensible.

Whether or joke was tasteful or not, the 9/11 argument against it was completely stupid.

Troubleface is my dog's nickname. I was looking at him while struggling to come up with a burner name. BAM.

My mom complimented me but tempered that with realistic observations: "You're very good in English, but you need to work harder in math." "You're a great swimmer, but you cannot rest on your laurels if you want to get better." "Your skin is great, but you're going to have to take care of it if you want it to stay that…

Off topic and irrelevant but I love your burner name so goddamn much it hurts me.

attempt to be relevant FAIL

I'm also not a fan of any choreography that requires its subjects to hip thrust and chest rub in the name of "cuteness." Firstly, it's cheap and tacky. Secondly, if you're going to make kids do it, you only do it with five-year-olds...not kids who are uncomfortably close to adulthood.

Thank God Lindy West isn't still here to ruin this announcement with her desperate attempts to be cute and relevant.

I didn't go to boarding school nor was I sexually assaulted by anyone, but yeah, that sort of culture needs to stop. In my private Catholic school, some of the teachers spoke to me with outright disdain and condescension right out in public. It was unnecessary, unprofessional, and humiliating. It took me until my…

I feel the same about the Paterno case. Sandusky was a sick fuck (which doesn't excuse what he did), but Paterno KNEW ABOUT IT AND COVERED IT UP ANYWAY. That's evil. I'm not one for biblical hyperbole, but that's straight up evil.

Ashton, Vance, Steer...these are all very likely boarding school names. My guttural German surname prohibits that my dynasty will ever be accepted.

Everything is terrible.

I support her for jerking off because this woman should not be allowed to have sex. Because then she might reproduce. And then we'll have another idiot roaming this world willing to pay money to see the Fifty Shades remake in twenty years.

I collected dead bumblebees as a kid. They were named Buzzy I and Buzzy II, respectively. And they lived in a Tupperware I took with me wherever I went.