I actually started this in earnest about 4 years ago. To address an earlier comment, I didn’t have a very strong social life. I was an overweight gamer and I only really had a few close friends who I spent any time with, but I said yes to pretty much anything that wouldn’t get me arrested. Even though I started with…

Thanks for underlining my point, hack.

See those slots on the sides of the drill? That’s what they’re for. Insert a small screwdriver and push up.

Ok but my Time Warner modem also has an RJ-11 jack for my phone service. Can I still do this?

Ok but my Time Warner modem also has an RJ-11 jack for my phone service. Can I still do this?

i rode a damn Clydesdale stallion into the bank, and recited the Braveheart "they'll never take our freedom" speech in its entirety - before making an unreal deposit, and exiting...leaving the horse behind in the lobby.

oh sweet, sweet kate...let us not insult one another's adeptness.

when i was younger - i thought Hope Solo was amazing, and now...well now i think she's disgusting.

You can also get free crap at Best Buy if you have no qualms about walking in and not stopping at the register on your way out. Stealing is stealing. It doesn't matter if you are stealing 1s and 0s from a website or if you are walking out with a 60 inch TV on your back.

if you want to hear the voice of the streets, then listen to Sam Elliot read my post catalog in its entirety.

yeah i have a question: Josh, would you care to comment on claims of misogyny and racism regarding your office etiquette, that have surfaced on social media in the wake of your recent surge in success and popularity?

i looked on in crippling horror as my scrotum melted away and washed down the shower drain this morning.

my swag coalesced into a sentient being and walked the earth. inevitably, the world would turn its scorn against my swag-son, and destroy him completely. but lo, from his ashy waste would rise a burning phoenix of enlightenment to cover the planet and wrap the whole of humanity its warm, loving embrace.

my swag coalesced into a sentient being and walked the earth. inevitably, the world would turn its scorn against my…

the waitress saw my coaxing gesture and beelined for my table, where i sat enjoying a meal and brandy with a business associate. "yes mr. kilos" she started with. "excuse me, daniel" i offered to my partner across the table. removing a snub-nosed .38 of a pearl and chrome finish, and placing it on the white table…

the stripper shook her ass in hypnotic circles, almost lulling me to sleep before slamming it into me. the sizable ass struck my gut - it rattled my teeth and knocked the wind from my chest. dazed and starry-eyed, i instinctively raised my arms in preparation of another blow. the cheeks blasted my forearm defense and…

the cold steel touch of the nickel plating against my bare abdomen reminds me of the .38 snub tucked in the front of my levi's. i get an uneasy feeling as i step into the room - the smell of ill-intent and cigar smoke made it hard to breathe calmly. but my face shown nothing of the sort. slow, steady gazing across the…

my girl retired early last year at the age of 25 on what i gave her for a weekly allowance...she was able to move her family out of Italy and set up a trust fund for her baby brother.

took a trip to Tijuana, stowed 2 kilograms of cocaína in a clowder of calico mix-breeds, along with a gps chip attached to their collars - before scattering them along the border with hopes of reconvening with them in the states.

these boys couldn't find my coke with a map and a head start. catch me moving grams like she can't care for herself any longer...