Hi, friend! You're not going to believe this, but it's actually a play on words. You see, I'm saying he's going to tap LeBron's wealth, because he's an agent now. So, in this particular scenario, I'm speaking of LeBron as though he's an ass, and not of LeBron's ass itself, and Jay-Z is going to tap that ass for lots…

Meeting stern tests and doing surprisingly, shockingly, almost-suspiciously well on them is kind of a Harvard student tradition.

No one thought that a small, northeastern liberal arts college like this could ever make a name for themselves on a stage as big as this, but let me tell you: with the eyes of the whole word watching, tomorrow morning people will now remember the name "Harvard University".

[hands instinctively head south]

[hears story about how great the Red Sox were ten years ago]

It'll launch in the next few month, and Drew Magary will own it.

Wish Cribbs nothing but the best. He played his ass off for the Browns, was active in the community both socially and through charity, and gave a lot of excitement to us Browns fans during a lot of crappy years. He was one of the few people who wasn't constantly saying "lolclevelandsux", but was happy to be there.