Here, for a change, is the other side of a scary story (or not-so-scary story, in this case).

Karl Lagerfeld must really hate himself, then.

This just confirms my belief that very little in life is truly free. Just because something doesn’t cost you any money, doesn’t mean it doesn’t cost you.

From what little I remember - because I gouged my eyes out with a spoon and rammed blunt pencils into my ears after a few episodes - there was very little that was wholesome about this family.

It’s also insanely old-fashioned. I had one in the early 90s. But I guess retro is cool, so...

Oh. I just figured it out. Duh. You’re not the victim here at all. You’re a master troll, trolling the troll(s) trolling you. I am in absolute awe. Well played, sir, well played.

Yes, there is something you can do. It’s an incredibly novel thought, but you should give it a try: STOP. RESPONDING. Honestly, you are such an easy mark, It’s getting embarrassing. As a reformed occasional-part-time troll, I have to tell you, you’re like a bottle of booze to an alcoholic. I’m itching to pile on.…

Christ, you’re an unbearably sanctimonious little prig.

And the Elgin Marbles to Greece, while they are at it.

7. No.

No, but I might have been if my mother had been conscious while this was going on. She was apparently under anesthesia, for reasons I can’t begin to fathom. Not sure if they brought her out of it for my actual birth, or how she could have pushed me out otherwise, because she certainly didn’t have a C-section.

In my my mother’s case, they did it because back in the day, the doctor wouldn’t get paid if he wasn’t present when the baby was born. So they kept pushing me back in until he arrived.

I barricaded my oven so no buns could sneak in there and set up shop.

“If they filled that dumpster with Pabst (where it belongs)...”

“So, this is how an action movie franchise dies.

Except that in my HYPOTHETICAL scenario there is no collusion, just a foreign entertainer accepting money from republicans (who most assuredly would rescind the offer if they knew what would be done with the dosh), and giving it to democrats.

Not to mention that he’s Canadian (I seem to recall), and non-Americans can’t donate to American presidential candidates, as we found out when my European mother wanted to donate to the Obama campaign. We found a way around it, but granted it wasn’t 2.5 million.

Or...he could have donated half the money to HILLARY. That would have been a big, juicy fuck you to the republicans.

I am perplexed by how upset some people are that you had the audacity to express an opinion. It’s very strange.

Yeah...no.