I’d tell you what I’d be moving up from the store brand mustard.

“I’m proud of you, you know... that you have the confidence to wear those two different patterns together.”- my father

I cannot stand looking at pictures of his fucking bloated, disgusting, orange, fleshy face. I scroll past them as quickly as I can before vomit starts inching up my throat and my laptop keyboard is ruined.

During a committee hearing of the new GOP healthcare bill, a Republican Congressman defended dropping prenatal care as a requirement by pointing out that men are unjustly forced to pay for it as well.

Southerners are nice... to your face.

The real question is: what does Kellyanne Conway owe to Feminism? Before first-wave feminism women weren’t allowed into universities and law schools. Before second-wave feminism her chances of being let into those schools would still have the been slim. Once out, she wouldn’t have gotten anywhere NEAR the White House…

I don’t owe Conway jack shit. She chose who she wanted to become and who she is working for.

The universe is off its axis when the most effective troller of Trump is the former right-of-center president of Mexico.

I pictured this as a Family Guy flashback.

They couldn’t find a single person from the NAVY to be Navy Secretary?

Business and ethics aside, being an intelligence officer in the Reserve for ten years twenty years ago does not qualify you to be SecNav.

Bill Cosby sucks, but Cliff and Clair Huxtable are my parenting idols.

The only thing I can see that Rihanna might bring is a focus on colours to suit black women - which is generally under catered for so would be worth investing in.

STEPH WHY

I misread this and expected to hear someone yell “baby hands” during the press conference. I was disappointed.

This video crystallizes one thing for me: fuck millenials who think 80's fashion was awesome. It was the fucking worst. Perms! Hairspray! Shoulder pads! Stupid glasses!

But... but... Kate McKinnon didn’t even have the time to play him on SNL!

I like the cut of your jib, hollienanner.