Us olds need to stick together.

Yes please

I had two Polish Catholic Grandmas, they can throw kind sounding derision like pros (I don’t want to co-opt shade since that’s not quiiiiiite what my Grandmas did). Kind of a very specific Eastern European brand of “Well bless your heart”.

Now that I know the definition, you can be sure I’ll never use these words. I think I’m more annoyed by these made up words than txt-spk. Get off my lawn bae and woke!

Am I too old?

or let there be NOTHING BUT VOLLEYBALL SCENES

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

know what would really be cool though

My husband is chatting at me about his moles, and he thinks he might have a new mole, and should he get it looked at, and he can’t possibly be expected to check all his moles himself, and why am I not being more supportive of his mole concerns.

Any opportunity to show off my rescue girl!

Because you should also get to see his handsome face....

In honor of rescue dogs- this guy. In a shelter 7 months ago. Now revered as a minor diety. (He’s wearing my husband’s socks)

*As a VERB. Fuck me.

I could point out there’s a missing word here, but frankly, using “bacon” as a word is better than the more normal way to write this sentence.

The Reuben one reminded me of a story Terry Pratchett told. He said that one jet-lagged evening he accidently asked for Three Mile Island dressing for his salad. The waitress didn’t say a word, just brought him Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of hot sauce.

That makes more sense. I was wondering why he was making the annoucement in CT. I mean, Madison, WI is pretty hostile territory for him (outside of the capitol at least), but it still seemed weird.

Bichons have a tendency to take over your soul. My family used to have one. On Day 1, my Dad said, “I do not love dogs, not since my childhood Beagle, Skippy, died in my arms on Christmas day.”
On Day 2, my Dad was singing to the Bichon in a falsetto.