Everyone knows you can't trust those Madelaine's with an a. They're like Collin's with two l's — they're just not our kind of people.

Twertle.

If it is her, I am glad that she has been found, though saddened at her death. As an atheist I cannot pray for her to have a wonderful afterlife, but may she fertilize the most beautiful flowers.

Anyone who doesn't answer "mandolin slicer" is a damn fool. What's that? Need me to julienne boat loads of veggies or slice 5 lbs of potatoes for au gratin that's going to take 15 minutes with a knife? Ok, I got this shit in 30 seconds...

Martha will feed her to her bichon frise for snacks.

I think I actually got a tear in my eye when I saw this last night. I get really emotional over 90s-era television, you guys.

I can not help myself. This is one of the two kittens we fostered this summer. I refer to them, now, as hand-raised, artisanal felines. Makes 'em sound faint-sy.

My mom discovered a poor malnourished kitten in our barn three years ago. The mother had either died or abandoned the litter, and all his siblings were dead. :( She heard him mewling from behind a hay bale and rescued him — he was so tiny he fit in the palm of your hand, and he had to be bottle-fed for many weeks. It…

I love those moments when you watch the lightbulb go off above a person's head.

Dodai, I think I'll miss you most of all.

I foster dogs of varying degrees of bonkers, and the best tools in my arsenal are a bright yellow harness and leash that say "adopt me" in huge letters. That signals to all passers-by that you're a foster momma, and not an asshole. You can find a variety of them on the internet, with a portion of the sale price…

I remember a stand-up comedian's line (Margaret Cho? not sure) - "If I looked like that, I'd be shopping in the frozen food aisle, naked and in heels!"

Yes! That voice is like nails on a chalkboard!!!

Two possibilities:

Needs more otter.

I more of a Matthew McFadyen-in-a-field-at-sunrise kind of a girl, but I appreciate the sentiment.

You've clearly never seen White Bread, Extra Mayo: The Pat Boone Story then.

I'm trying to imagine the bringing mr.steak 3 god damn filets. No one needs that much beef to start with, his colon must be like one of those oversized 3 wick candles and his farts must sound like moos.

"A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill-advised, and the whole species' existence counts on them doing it. I don't know how they...how do women still go out with guys, when you consider the fact that there is no greater threat to women than men? We're the number one threat to women.…