It’s been eight and a half years since I spoke to my mom. After my dad died I didn't have to continue to take the her abuse anymore and so I quit her. My brother and sister did too. Sometimes I miss having A mom but not MY mom.

Unrelated but “Jesus fuck” is one of my favorite swear combos and I love when other people use it.

I loved it and I'm really not a movie person.

I’m a vegetarian about 90% of the time and meatless Big Macs are really, really, really good.

I’ve been in love with your comments all day.

People get really aggressive about guacamole, no? I'm a simplest. Avocado, garlic salt and lime. Fin.

EDUCATORS GET FREE FOOD TUESDAY!!!

I came here to see if anyone was bitching about this bullshit. I have dense break tissue, lumpy boobs and a family history of breast cancer. I have to have an ultrasound. Every year they code it wrong and it becomes a damn hassle. I know it's a scam because they know that a lot of people will just pay it. I hate…

The drunk driver has shallow pockets. What's the point of suing in civil court if when you win you will never collect anything?

This was the exact comment I made on a friend’s FB post. As long as all the dadbods are getting hot about my mombod I’m all for this “trend.”

I want to do very many sex things to John Corbett.

I rarely laugh because of something I read on the net, but this THIS made me laugh. Kudos.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/12855…

I bet you are a ton of fun at parties.

Houstonian here. We are the most diverse city in the nation. I know, I know. Everyone likes to make the snarky jokes but honestly it’s a great town. Cost of living is mind blowingly cheap, there is always some kind of something happening here and the food...THE FOOD!!!

I don't think so,lol.

Might I ask why Paul Rudd isn't a good choice?

I tried to explain Rosa Perot to my son and he kept saying "so like Ron Paul?" and I was all "no." and then he was all"RP" maybe it is a conspiracy. And then I took a bottle of wine to bed.

His red wine game is strong. I respect that.

And you don't mean that in an Eddie Haskell sort of way.