I think you are looking for Sebastian Janikowski 6'1 265 career long 63 yards. Too bad he had to languish on a shitty Raiders team throughout his 20s and now 30s, he would have been a legend (he is still very good, though, and the Raiders are less terrible).

Which just amazes me when the football mind set is “Why draft a kicker with a top pick? He’s not even a football player.” Who else is more likely to win a game with 1 second left? Like it or not, kickers decide so many games. Despite what the big, bad football players think, it’s Neanderthal thinking to not give up a…

Are they... are they going to stop trying to make Inhumans a thing? Cause Inhumans will never be a thing.

Also, fuck raccoons! There are a bunch that live in the trees around my house. They are horrible. Tonight, they’be been having sexy time in the trees above my house. Have you every heard raccoons have sex? It’s awful. It’s loud. It sounds like small animals are being tortured. It’s keeping our dog awake and in…

On par with cops turning off their body cams. That shouldn’t be an option. There shouldn’t even be an off switch to begin with. Why do they need to turn it off? What do you not want seen?

That bus driver was terminated fortunately, but apparently that bus company lets the drivers turn off the cameras? What the fuck...there’s no point at all to having cameras if people can just turn them off when they want to do bad shit.

Except (and as someone with ZERO Spanish/Portuguese) even I could have guessed that contra meant “against” or “oppose” ie CONTRAindicated, CONTRAlateral, CONTRAception.

Day 7: Fuck Bob’s wife in retaliation for punching you 6 days in a row.

Day 1: Bob punches you in the face.

I’m quite surprised why people with botnets aren’t attacking PornHub, or any other porn website. That would cause a lot of pain for many people, considering the porn usage.

Time to start downloading and hoarding porn. When the time comes and the seemingly unlimited vast wells of free pornography streams dry, it will be the porn hoarders who will reign with power!!! ABSOLUTE POWER!!!

If you’re worried about a date ditching you over what kind of phone you’re using you’re:

So let me get this... You think the girl never got in touch with you again because of your choice of cellphone? I am almost assured it was your intellect.

Hipsters can be pretty hard to understand. They’re waaay more individualistic and expressive, which means they do exactly as their friends do. Anything from glasses to beards to jeans cut is carefully culled from market research they do independently but quite unconsciously from their pool of peers, and then emulated.…

There’s no way this story is true.

Who cares about the chess kid? I want to know what the story is with that guy and the black squirrel

The black squirrel stole the show.

Never in the history of What the Fuck has What the Fuck been so appropriately applied as it is in this instance.

Nonsense. She is mean spirited first and foremost. Chalking up every form of assholery to “mental illness” is both hugely insulting to people who are mentally ill and a weak justification for the bad behavior of a nasty, homophobic bigot. Ms. Banks needs to slither back under her rock.

Being a female POC isn’t a “get…

She was at “Cook Out”. As an ardent fan of Cook Out over the past 10 years, when you need a Cook Out milkshake, you just have to get it. No matter the time. This is 100% completely understandable.