So this is a pretty tenuous connection, but speaking of HBO shows that were on last night, can I just say how very sad I am for Turtle?

Is that an old quote from Olivia Newton-John? I thought her husband faked his death and disappeared a few years ago?

@lucystrawberry: Tier 2 is the new black: I just think it's really telling how there's no plus-size models this season. Like, you can be tall and a whopping size 10, that's cool. But God forbid you be short and plus size.

My cousin's now ex-wife has been chronicling their divorce and her NEW SUPER AWESOME WILD FUN COOL SINGLE LIFE OMG!!!!! with zero regard to who can see it- namely, just about everyone with a facebook page in my family. It's both pathetic and just plain stupid- he left her because she was stealing from him and her…

@SamCity: @HubertJalooloo: Being a girl and all, I have never been kicked in the nuts, but I've fallen on balance beams, caught a knee playing soccer and an elbow to the tit rough-houseing and just yesterday drove the corner of a coffee table into my ladybits while helping a friend move. Extremely, horribly…

@SarahMC: Well, that's pretty nice of him. We gals need our beauty sleep.

@xuatastic: Was he also 15? I'm suprised at that level at naivety. I mean, not that I think HS sophomores should be, like, into fisting and nipples clamps, but I feel like even if you hadn't done it, you had the concept of "fingering" down by then.

@jigglyball: Vaginal sex is the bee's knees, Meg.

Why are you having sex with a woman who would get confused about what to do with a dick? How does one even get confused about it? Like, if you speak she might put it in her ear by mistake?

@Evie Havok: Wait, wait, wait- you wish she had been shot with a real gun? Really?

@GirlFailer: OH MY GOD. I read that story when I was waaaay to young and my mother bought me a dress for Thanksgiving dinner that was just like the one in the story and I spent the whole day thinking I was getting sicker and sicker and finally my mother was like, "Are you all right?" and I confessed that I was dying…

@wtfox?!: Wait, I thought I only had to wait until marriage. I have to wait another three days after now too?! Also, what's wrong with doin' it on a Wednesday?

@tewkesbury: Wouldn't you go to court, though, and be like, "This is no longer a safe place for my kids to be, can we review the custody order?"

I feel so bad that David Hasselhoff's kids are witnessing him go through all this hideousness. I don't understand why their mother is continuing to let them live there. I mean, I don't think that just because a person is an addict means they should never see their children again, but when they aren't sober and the…

Shohreh Aghdashloo has possibly the sexiest voice of all time.

@CubeRootOfPi: iTunes has a lot of language classes for free through podcasts. I've tried the Italian and Arabic so far, it's pretty good. Though both of the ones I've done are geared more for, like, travel than actually learning the language fluently, you know what I mean? It's not memorizing verb forms, it's all…

@kad9k: I have my own, it's about $200/month. It's not the greatest plan- there's a $2500 deductible, which is manageable, and certainly better than, you know, paying 30k in the event of some emergency. It was really easy to sign up for, but I'm in MA and I guess we have other/more options that the rest of the…

@sleepeatread: I really like the "scour" option. I don't' know why, but it really cracks me up.

I just recently discovered that you can set your Facebook settings to "English (pirate)" and it's brilliant.

@moissie: and she'll protect you from hawks!