@freemonica: Obviously. What more could he ask for than to have his douchebaggery be state-sanctioned?

@hhpeterson13: I would watch the hell out of that. Also, I would like to nominate Jade from ANTM.

That adorable teddy bear puppy will not make up for abandoning me last night, Serena.

I wonder if Heidi's parents watch this show and cry and then stay up all night trying to figure where exactly it is they botched up raising her with self-esteem and independence.

@morninggloria: Did you know something was wrong as soon as the doctor addressed you by the name "Rosemary"?

@morninggloria: If only Spencer Pratt's mother had had that option.

What's with insane female-hating gynos in Australia? Also, isn't their universal health care in Australia/NZ? Why would anyone need to go to a doctor in a homeless shelter?

I'm not sure if this qualifies as a masculine or feminie trait, but you know what sort of cars I DON'T like? The ones with the headlights that can be seen from space. YOU ARE MAKING ME GO BLIND, JERK FACE.

@winner: I know! It's bullshit! I want to see Serena rip Blair a new one again!

@PurpleMonkeyDinosaur: Also, sperm banks may tell you that the sperm is from a Nobel-prize winning former Olympian who's both sets of grandparents lived well into their 90's, sharp as a tack, and who stands 6'2" and has never had a pimple, but, and feel free to call me paranoid, what's my guarantee they're telling the…

I Red Tent the shit out of my life for about a week every month, and it's awesome. For the longest time, I tried and tried to be a "trooper" and force myself to go out and not limit my activities, and I've discovered that I'm much happier if I take the week off from life and come home from work and just eat ice cream…

@Macloserboy: His other kids live with his sister. Because adopting kids and then shuttling them off to someone else after 10 years and a biological child isn't going to give them any issues or anything.

@LaraBullets: I turn into a insane salt freak when I've got my period. Insane. Because that's really the best time to consume a ton of extra salt, right?

@rocknrollunicorn: Oh dear, is it? Now I feel like a big dumb jerk.

@it takes a lot to laugh:

@Triphena: Or, it's um, Bermuda, as someone said below. So never mind my dumb ass.

@badmutha: How else will everyone know Jay Z is cool if his wife doesn't need a kabillion body guards?

That's hardly an undisclosed location. It's the boardwalk along South Beach.

@heykoukla: I'm very sad to hear about the enormous tumor pressing on your sister's optical nerves. That must be hard on your family.

@it takes a lot to laugh: Yeah, I mean, why cut the bruise out of the apple when you can just throw it away and go hungry?